The Bad Teacher
by jpixieruler
Summary: Bella's been daydreaming in class, Why can't Mr. Edward Cullen teach properly, what happens when they get so wrapped up in fighting each other?
1. Bad Teacher

**AN: so this is my first ever story, and its a Lemony One-Shot, please be kind, hope you enjoy, for any of you that are wondering this is Senior Year for Bella, and Edward is the new teacher starting his first post takes place 6 months in.**

It is so sad what my life has been reduced to. In six months, I have come to love school, I actually look forward to coming to school and class, most eighteen year olds go to parties and have boyfriends, in essence have a life. Not me. Why?

Three words.

Mr. Edward Cullen.

My sexy as hell English teacher.

Piercing Green Eyes, Sexy Fuck me Copper Hair, that just screams for me to run my fingers through and a crooked smile that makes my panties wet. Did I mention when he reads out passages I almost come with that smooth velvet voice. Fuck. If he were to take me on the table today I would die happy.

God I am so obsessed with him, why would he want me? I'm his student for godsake, his student with plain brown hair and brown eyes, I just scream background object, and I usually just hide in the shadows. I walk into class and sit at my usual place towards the back.

Ah Fuck.

Mike Newton wants to talk. Can't he seriously just leave me alone for two minutes? I mean he's sweet and like a puppy dog, but he's only a friend, that's all he'll ever be, and I keep telling him, but does he listen? Of course not.

Oh my God, Mr. Cullen just walked in, Oh My God. White button down shirt rolled to the elbows giving me a glimpse of those sexy arms, I never thought arms could be such a turn on.

Oh my God today he's got the first two buttons undone, I am officially in heaven. I guess I had been staring glassy eyed a bit, because his green eyes suddenly were gaping into mine, I looked away and blushed, damn my stupid cheeks.

I turned to Mike, anything to take away my embarrassment, but not before peeking up at him, he had my favourite crooked smile. Yep, my panties were officially wet, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, Mike of course glancing down at my legs, eyes glazed over, pig. However Mr. Cullen had abruptly sat in his chair. I looked up somewhat startled , it appeared he was in pain. I looked at him confusedly. Of course this was whenl I saw Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory resident skanks walk up to the front sitting down, I'm sure giving Mr. Cullen a peep show.

I rolled my eyes, slutty bitches. Of course they thought he was hot, it wasn't as if they were blind, most girls wanted to Fuck Cullen, but I know none of them got the chance. I almost laughed when I saw Mr. Cullen glare down at Jessica, apparently Jessica had made friends, in other words fucked the student body president, and he had given her a personal tour of the front office, including a peek into Mr. Cullen's file along with his personal phone number.

She had also left a long steamy message for him, which didn't go too well HA I saw her face after she came out of class after a long lecture, she looked ready to cry, serves her right for trying to get into Mr. Cullen's pants...

mmm Mr. Cullen's pants, gah stop thinking those thoughts Bella, that just makes you a hypocrite. Shit, he just asked me a question.

"Sorry Mr. Cullen What was that?"

His eyes flashed down on me, he was looking at me angrily

"Ms Swan if you can't fucking pay attention the first time, how am I suppose to teach you?"

Did I mention he had the most beautiful dirty mouth, yet his idea of teaching involved me staring out the window in boredom? Of course had he not been Adonis himself.

"Ms Swan you will stay behind at the end. The question I asked you was what is your opinion of Heathcliff and Cathy, and their situation?"

Did I mention Wuthering Heights was my favourite novel?

"Although Heathcliff was a tyrant and in a sense wrong for Cathy because of his station, it is clear that he truly did love her, despite their situation and everything that happened. It also gives a realistic approach that true love does come at a cost."

He looked at me blankly for a second, but regained composure.

"I'm surprised Ms Swan, I didn't realise you actually pay attention to what I say in class" he said crudely

I looked at him confused, but my anger was starting to boil

"Why are you surprised Mr. Cullen? Just because I don't kiss your ass every time you walk through that door, does not mean I don't pay attention, and its only because I've read the book over twenty times, I tend to give myself a bit of leverage, seeing as you clearly can't seem to take the stick out of your ass and teach this to us properly, instead you sit behind your desk every lesson asking us mundane questions, that are useless and very vague, and you expect me to be enraptured?" I spoke angrily and forced my legs upright. He riled me up so easily.

"Are you quite done Ms Swan?"

I looked around and realised I was having a heated argument with my drop dead gorgeous teacher, criticizing the way he was teaching, in front of the rest of my class. I looked at Mike who was staring at me, I blushed the heat rising in my cheeks and I looked back at Mr. Cullen. God he was beautiful, as I looked into his darkened green eyes I saw anger flashing through them, with a hint of something else I couldn't quite place. I realised I was staring at him again, the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Sit down Ms Swan I will talk with you after class"

So I sat down and refused to look up at him the whole time. I was so embarrassed.

Did I mention he knew how to press ALL my buttons. He was a gorgeous lusty prick of a teacher, and I still wanted him, I still wanted him to throw me onto his desk and...

I jumped at the sound of the bell, and tried to clear my thoughts unsuccessfully, while I waited for my punishment. I shifted nervously in my seat and crossed my legs. He surveyed me from my desk angrily and stood up revealing his tall body and his long black pants.

"Ms Swan, if you have a problem with my teaching, I suggest you take it up with the main office and not insult me in front of the rest of your peers," he spoke angrily to me, but his voice softened, "I'm surprised by your behaviour today, Bella you are usually not so distracting and disruptive in class"

I swear when he said Bella instead of Ms Swan I was swooning.

I sighed, my behaviour really was inexcusable, but I had to show him what he had done wrong.

"Mr. Cullen, I am truly sorry for my behaviour, all I have to say in my defence, was that you were provoking me," I knew I was being childish, but I felt that it wasn't my entire fault.

He laughed at me, "Bella, I didn't mean to provoke you, but you were distracted, it's not proper for me to allow you to day dream in my class, when the rest of the students have to endure the pain of Wuthering Heights, is everything ok? What made you so distracted if you don't mind me asking?"

A scene where Mr. Cullen had me pushed up against the door crossed my mind, and I licked my lips, reality suddenly struck, when I saw him zero in on my mouth as he shifted uncomfortably. I blushed in remembrance of what I had been day dreaming about before he interrupted me with his mundane questions. I realised he was waiting for a reply, and I sighed.

"It's nothing Mr. Cullen, I guess I just spaced out, sorry to disrupt your class" I had to get out of there, the pent up sexual frustration I was feeling from being in the room alone with him was almost too much to bear. Fearing I was going to jump him if I stayed any longer, I stood up from my desk.

"Anything else Mr. Cullen?" I answered with my head high, he just sighed at me again

" No that is all Bella, you may go, but I will still be seeing you after school for detention with me"

I nodded my head tightly at him, Fucking great, I'm not sure I can last an extra hour alone with him. He lifted himself from his chair and motioned me towards the door. I held my head high and strode towards the door, but of course because of the klutz that I am I felt my feet trip over themselves, I waited for the impact, but it never came, and I felt warm arms surrounding me, warm arms that with it sent electric lightning bolts down my arms. My breath caught in my chest and I looked up to see Mr. Cullen staring down at me with his arms around me. If I thought the tension was hard to bear before, this was torture. His green eyes became black, and it became too much for me, I grabbed his stubborn jaw and pulled his lips to me.

Oh my God I was in heaven, I had never tasted anything so sweet and masculine, his lips were soft yet firm and his arms snaked around my waist tighter. My hands went into his hair, and he groaned softly into my mouth. His lips were sucking my bottom lip and I ran my tongue over his top lip. I felt him push me up against the door just like when I was day dreaming, but so much better and I pulled him tighter to me groaning into his mouth and wrapped one leg around his waist bringing his hard cock closer to my aching heat.

His arm swung around and locked the door and flicked the lights. We could still see each other, but only just. His lips removed themselves from my mouth and I stared up at him in amazement, but he continued to press his lips against my jaw, and he slowly made his way down my jaw to my neck.

I sucked in my air and my breathing was harsh and uncontrolled. He let his tongue lick up the side of my neck stopping to take soft little bites, and I groaned, when he found my ear and sucked on the ear lobe, I couldn't control myself as I groaned out his name. He withdrew his mouth from my neck and I whimpered at the loss of heat.

I looked into his eyes and could identify the look I had been unsure of before, he was looking back at me with pure unadulterated lust, his breathing ragged.

"Can you feel that Bella? Can you feel my hard cock pressed against you?" I whimpered again

"Do you like it, when I press it into you?" he demonstrated by shoving his cock against me hard and I whimpered out his name in pure ecstasy, and I felt his cock twitch under me.

"Fuck, do you know what you do to me Bella, when you say my name like that? I want to throw you over my desk rip all your clothes off and pound my hard cock into your tight pussy, would you like that?"

"Yes, please Edward, fuck me senseless," I growled at him, pulling his body against mine again.

He moaned with me this time, as I began to pull at the buttons of his shirt. But I became too frustrated and just ripped the shirt off him, popping a couple of buttons along the way. I had to feel him, to taste him, if this was a dream; I never wanted it to end.

I finally got his shirt off, and what I saw underneath was perfection, I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip,

"Fuck Bella, do you know that whenever you bite your lip like that I can't help but do this"

then I felt his lips crash into mine. He took my bottom lip between his lips and sucked on it, licking and biting it at the same time. I moaned loudly into his mouth, and felt a deep fire run through my body, settling on the lower half of my stomach. He deepened the kiss, and started to remove my shirt, I was thankful I was wearing my favourite blue lace matching set underneath. I broke the kiss and started to work on his neck, working down his body licking a spot, biting at it softly then kissing it tenderly.

This evoked more moans from my passionate teacher, and my hands and body ventured lower until they came into contact with his belt and pants. I quickly undid the belt and slid the zipper down, making sure my hand grazed his cock. He jumped and moaned loudly at this, and looked down at me whispering hoarsely,

"Bella, do you know how long I've wanted to do this to you, to Fuck you senseless, to lick your pussy dry, and watch you suck my cock? Since that first day that you walked in with your short plaid skirt and white almost see through blouse, and blue lacy bra. Since that first fucking day, every time you walked through that door, you made me so hard, so hard for you."

I smiled up at him and swiftly pulled him from the confines of his boxers and pants, and gazed at his enormously beautiful cock standing proud and erect for me. I licked my lips, and Edward groaned. I had never done this before, but I was trusting my instincts. I ran my tongue slowly over the head and slipped my tongue on the underside, giving an experimental lick. His head banged against the door, and he groaned loudly before hoarsely saying

"Fuck Bella, that feels so good, keep going baby"

At that I was encouraged I was doing well, so I took him into my mouth bobbing my head against his shaft, moaning at how good he tasted, and licking his entire shaft every so often. I pushed him into my mouth until I feel him on the back of my throat. At this he moaned throatily, and kept chanting my name over and over. I took one of my hands and let it slide along the remainder of him that wouldn't fit into my mouth, and took the other to fondle his balls. It was long until he was full out moaning my name.

"Bella, Fuck Bella, so good...urgh... I'm gonna... I'm about to..."

But I wanted to taste him cum in my mouth, so I kept going, increasing the speed. After a few more pumps of my mouth on him, he jerked into my mouth and hot liquid poured itself down my throat. I swallowed him up greedily, loving the mix of sweet and salty taste of him, and I looked up at him. His face was scrunched up tight with pleasure, and he groaned out my name over and over loudly.

I looked up at him smirking loudly. He immediately picked me up and lay me on his desk, and almost ripped off my skirt. He started playing with the hem of my underwear, massaging my inner thighs. The heat and longing came back at full force, and I couldn't help but beg.

"Please Edward, Please"

He smirked up at me for a second before saying

"All in good time Bella"

His hands continued their journey up stopping at my blue lace bra. My erect nipples were screaming for his touch. His hands lightly brushed over the fabric covering my nipples, and I couldn't help but arch my back, pressing into his hands. He quickly tore the fabric from my body and continued to play me with his fingers. Suddenly his tongue came into play, licking the underside of my breast rising slowly, and finally reaching my nipples sucking on one, while his expert fingers played with the other. At this point I couldn't stop moaning.

"oh Edward, yes, yes, Edward, Yes"

His hand travelled down to my panties this time, his hand travelled down and pressed flush against my core.

"Bella, Fuck, you are so wet for me, I can't wait to have your dripping pussy around my aching cock"

"Do it Edward, just do it, I can't wait any longer."

I could see him trying to restrain himself, but I needed this. I needed to be inside of him, needed to feel something, so I bucked my heat into his hand. All self restraint was lost at this point.

He hovered over me questionly, and I realised what he was asking

"It's alright, I'm on the pill" Thank god for contraception.

He gave me his crooked smile, before plunging hard and deep into me.

We both moaned simultaneously

"Bella, you're so tight and wet, Fuck"

We needed to lay there for a few seconds just to control ourselves and the feel of him inside me. I slowly wiggled my hips, and he started to stroke himself into me. Each time he plunged into me, I couldn't help but make a little noise, and his grunts of satisfaction spurred me on. It didn't take long for me to near my climax, I felt the coil in the pit of my stomach tightening. I was almost there.

"Edward," I moaned, "I'm almost there, uh"

"Come for me baby," he whispered into my ear and his hand started circling my clit, and that was it, I was lost. I saw stars, and rainbows around me, and I felt Edward come while I squeezed around his cock, and he let out a guttural roar, crying out my name over and over.

We lay spent over his desk, trying to catch our breaths and our normal our heartbeats. Gasping at each other. I couldn't help but speak

"That was... amazing Edward"

His deep green eyes looked at me again, turning darker by the second.

"I guess I'll see you in detention later on Ms Swan, I've heard you've been a _bad_ girl"

**AN: everyone like? R&R please!!**


	2. Detention

**AN: Sorry it took a while guys, I know I promised it earlier this week, but school has been totally hectic, hope you enjoy, I'm not continuing this, but because I love you all so much, I've put out the detention, don't hate me. Poll on my page, as to new story ideas, because I can't decide, so go check it out. Just for when you get further along, B1 and B2, for those of you that won't understand, here in Australia there's a kids show called Bananas in Pyjamas, and they're twin brothers called B1 and B2, well I thought it was funny...ok well Link on my page so you can understand.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I wish I did =D**

Chapter 2: Detention

My mind was still in shock. It wasn't until I heard the door open and close, all while watching her graceful hips leave the classroom, had the gravity of our situation hit me. I put my head in my hand and screamed out in frustration. I just fucked a student in my classroom and promised her a second session later on.

What the Fuck.

No seriously, What the fuck was wrong with me? 6 months, 6 fucking long months I held out, I had made it half way, showing no preference to the vixen called Isabella Marie Swan, and one day, one fucking day of her being pissed at me sent me into sexual overdrive.

Who the Fuck was I kidding, of course I'd always shown a sort of preference for Bella, I'd even offered to help her with college applications as an excuse to spend time with her... If only she hadn't had to work her ass off for college tuition, we could have started this a whole lot sooner...Fuck Edward no more thinking like that, she's your fucking student. Do you not understand the concept of "Look but don't touch?" Yeh that's right you're an ass.

What the fuck was I going to do? Problem was, I had tasted the forbidden fruit, and Fuck if it wasn't delicious, I don't think I have the strength to stay away from her. Yet I couldn't let this happen, I couldn't fuck up again.

My mind wandered back to the beginning of class, where this had all started.

_I walked into the classroom, and there in front of me was fucking Aphrodite with long brown hair and large doe eyes, bedroom eyes they called it. Fuck if I didn't want her in my bed right now. I looked to my right and I narrowed in on the poor excuse of a boy, that's right, a boy, not a man, a boy, by the name of Michael Fucking Newton. I noticed her attention was on me, so I flashed her my special crooked smile, only for her. I saw her beautiful blush stain her cheeks and smirked at the two of them. He didn't stand a chance, she was so far out of his league couldn't he see that?_

_I returned my attention back on her, and I saw her shift her legs, Fuck me, her plaid skirt was rising higher on her legs, yes come on, Fuck I was starting to get hard, I had to sit down quickly to hide that shit. _

_Ok now I was pissed, ever since I'd gotten this post and started teaching this class, it's like my brain had switched off temporarily for an hour. I hadn't even been able to get up and fucking teach properly, due to the very prominent hard on I acquired every time I looked at Isabella, well Bella she preferred to be called._

_It didn't help that B1 and B2, (Bimbo 1 and Bimbo 2) also known as Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory Scared the fucking daylights out of me every time they popped that shit in my face, I thought some teacher might just happen to pass by at an inopportune moment, ah Fuck my Life._

_So there I am trying to teach Wuthering Fucking Heights sitting down, when I've got B1 and B2 trying to glance at my crotch; a hard on that wasn't going to go away; and Bedroom Eyes looking out the window not paying attention. It was too much and I lost my cool not usually prone to expletives out loud, telling her to Fucking Pay attention, yeah I know I'm a sick fuck, when I say this I want her to pay attention to me and only me, thank fucking god she couldn't read my thoughts. _

_Of course she retaliates, like the hot little spitfire I know she is. Shit she was turning me on even more with her little speech, and I had to fight hard to not be hard, yeah I know sick right? Maybe I could get her alone, no Fuck no, ah shit. I needed her to apologize to me for fucking me over in class, I demand respect, maybe a little grovelling with her hot little mouth around my...Fuck._

I banged my head on the table repeatedly, this was not Fucking cool. She was one of the few people that didn't actually take my bullshit, and I wanted her more for it. Fuck. I wanted to Fuck her over and over again, be able to wake up with her in my bed and Fuck her morning, noon or even a late night rendezvous on my piano. Fuck these thoughts need to stop. I need to pull my shit together if she's coming back in an hour, maybe I could talk to Emmett, and he'd give me advice wouldn't he? Fuck no, he'd rip my balls off and cart my ass in for abuse. Shit on a Stick. I want Bella, I need Bella, I wanted and needed her before all this school shit, she didn't know that I had seen her before I started teaching. I gave piano lessons to her old next door neighbour and could watch her in her bedroom, doing work or just being Bella, every Thursday. Fuck now I'm a sick Stalker, but fuck no, I can't give it up, I just know this is going to bite me on the ass later, this Shit is no good.

I looked back up at the clock and almost jumped out of my seat, it was 2:50 Fuck she'd be here in 10 minutes. Deep Breaths Edward, Deep Breaths.

BPOV

Words cannot describe how good I feel, I still can't believe what happened. It has to be a dream, it must have been a dream. This shit can't be fucking real. I just fucked Edward Cullen, The Edward Cullen, My sexy as hell English teacher Mr. Cullen, untouchable by anyone except me, and I felt fucking fantastic about it. I was so giddy Alice, my bestest best friend in the whole world, called me out on my Edward induced euphoria during last period Spanish, giving me confused looks, but I had to play it cool.

"Bella," she whispered over to me, "What is with you? You keep zoning out, and you're practically drooling all over the desk."

Ah Fuck. Now what do I say? I decided with the truth... just leaving out a few details.

"I got detention after school, for talking back"

"What the Fuck Bella? You never get detention, who the hell did you piss off?"

I looked up at her she usually never swore, her face was alarmed at my behaviour. I sighed, might as well get it over with.

"I talked back to Mr. Cullen, ok Alice? I basically told him he was a shit teacher ok?"

"Bella, I thought you liked him?"

"I do Al, it's just that he caught me daydreaming and then I got angry because he thought I didn't know shit, we're doing Wuthering Heights Alice, Fucking Wuthering Heights-"

Alice starred wide eyed, she knew not to fuck with my Bronte.

"-and then I told him that he was teaching us shit, and I got detention"

She pondered on this for a second, a slight frown crossing her face

"Ok Bella, but how does that make you happy?" she inquired quizzically

"Well," I smiled slyly at her, "It means I get to spend an hour alone with Mr. Sexy himself after school Al"

Alice's eyes widened at me, and she grinned back

"Naughty, Naughty Bella, I never knew you had it in you"

I was suddenly nervous, if Alice found out I fucked Mr. Cullen I was toast. So I tried to play it cool, hoping my part-lie would fly.

"Oh hush Alice I'm probably just going to be sitting there doing jobs for him"

Didn't need to tell her which jobs I would be doing for him, and I suddenly blushed in remembrance.

Alice looked at me quirking her eyebrow at me, but remained silent, and for that I was grateful.

Last lesson Spanish, seemed to crawl by so slowly, but I'm not sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, because on one hand, I definitely wanted to do Edward again, but on the other hand, I was nervous, because I was falling too deep. I'm not usually like this, usually I sit at the back, quiet as a mouse, diligent and hard working, but with Mr. Cullen, well Edward, it's different. Although I fell the first time I saw him through my neighbour's window, teaching old Mrs. Clearwater. Little did I know that he was about to become my Sexy as hell English teacher. Now that it was clear that he definitely had feelings for me, what did that mean for us? I mean we were definitely on friendly terms all those times he was helping me with college applications, even made jokes at me and shit, but no, I never in my wildest dreams thought that something like this would happen, just thinking about it now made me shiver in delight.

The bell rang, signalling the end of the day, what do I do? Do I man up and skip detention, knowing that he'll never say anything about it or to me again, and probably be worried sick that I'll tell on him? Could I do that to him? Or do I do the easy thing, probably have more hot sex, but lose not only my heart, but my friendship and relationship with him in the long run, just for some meaningless satisfaction? Fuck that is a hard choice, I guess it doesn't matter which way I go, and there will always be a strain now. The only problem is, when do I break my heart? Get it over with now, like ripping off a band-aid quickly, or do I prolong the pain and heartache that comes with unrequited love?

While I pondered on my jumbled thought, my subconscious must have made the decision for me. For no sooner had I walked out the classroom from Spanish do I find my hand on the doorknob of Mr. Cullen's office. My breathing was short and shallow, and my heart was racing. What do I do? Open or close? Endure the pain now or later? Listen to my heart or my head?

I closed my eyes and let all my emotions take over, trusting my subconscious to do the right thing. The door swung open on its hinges to reveal a masterpiece behind a desk, and my body melted seeing him like that. How could I refuse him? My whole body relaxed at the sight of him, and suddenly a very naughty idea came to mind, and I felt a huge surge of confidence from the adrenaline rush.

EPOV

She opened my office wide and I looked at her in all her glory, looking at me shyly wondering what was going to happen, Fuck if I knew, all I knew is that all my carefully laid plans to tell her 'I was sorry', and that 'I hadn't meant for it to happen, that she was amazing, but we couldn't keep doing this,' went out the window. I surmised that I could do only one thing; leave it to her. I would surrender myself to her and let her do, whatever she wanted to do, if she only wanted to talk, I would not be her sick perverted teacher, but keep my distance, everything was up to her. I couldn't be the dominating oaf I was before, I had to act gentlemanly and let her do anything or everything, take it slow. Fuck these thoughts aren't good, maybe I wasn't very good. At this thought my whole body slouched, until I looked up at her. Fuck she was beautiful, a rare and beautiful sapphire amongst a sea of shiny plastic. Oh God I wanted her, I wanted to kiss her full pouty lips and make her amber eyes glaze over in lust.

Her eyes gazed hungrily at my body, scanning first my face then travelling lower. Already I was straining against the zipper of my pants. She smirked up at me, before closing and locking my office door. I gulped my breathing becoming harsh and uneven. She stalked towards me like a tigress

"I'm here for Detention Mr. Cullen, apparently I've been a bad girl, other teachers have never said I'm bad, I'm always a perfect angel," she said in a husky voice, and my pants felt impossibly tight. She proceeded towards my chair, still in a state of shock I was when she straddled my legs in the chair, before whispering in my ear,

"I guess you just always seem to bring out my bad side Mr. Cullen."

She nipped at my neck, and I couldn't help but groan aloud, my head falling back against the chair. Fuck this woman was going to be the death of me. She looked around quickly and spotted my tie that I had taken off before our lesson, and looked up at me with a naughty smile. Grabbing the tie quickly, she got off my chair spun me around before yanking both my arms behind the chair and tying my hands up with the silk tie I always favoured, because she had complimented me on it once.

She settled herself back in my lap on the chair, and kissed my lips, and every worry, every thought in general flew out my head, as a heady sense of lust took over my entire body.

I wanted to pull her closer and feel her bare skin in my hands but I couldn't, I was tied to the stupid fucking chair. I growled out in frustration, and she removed herself from my lips grinning cockily at me.

"You don't like not being able to touch, do you?"

She started to remove the buttons from her shirt, and I groaned exasperatedly

"I want to do that," I pleaded with her

She grinned evilly at me before replying with,

"Ok"

I thought she was going to untie my hands, but no, she stretched up onto her knees, and arched her back, pressing her breasts into my face, I understood immediately what she wanted, and reached up to her earlobe biting on it, before I licked a long line down her neck, past her collarbone and onwards to her cleavage, giving careful licks around the area, before taking her shirt in my mouth and undoing the button. She groaned at this arched her neck back, pushing herself even further into my face. My tongue slid under the soft fabric of her bra, pushing back, before tasting her pert nibble, pebbled with desire.

She groaned at my name and this, pushing her hips back into my hard aching cock, grinding against me, and a hoarse cry left my mouth. She continued with this frenzy latching onto my weak spot, my ear lobe. I could barely take it any more

"Untie me Bella, please, Untie me- oh Fucking God"

She had moved her hand to grab my cock and it twitched in her hand with desire.

"Uh, uh, uh Edward, I'm not done yet" she winked at me, waggling her finger and I groaned.

She hopped off my lap, and twirled so that her skirt rose high enough so I could just see the edges of her blue lace panties.

"Fucking tease," I whispered out loud. She turned and stopped

"Did you just call me a tease Edward?" her hand resting on her hip, with her shirt half unbuttoned.

"Yes, you're a fucking tease" I said a little louder, smirking at her, I needed this.

"If I'm a tease would I do this?" she questioned me, raising her hand to her throat gliding her hand down through the hollow of her breasts, resting her hand against the rest of the unbuttoned shirt.

"yes"

"or how about this?"

She unbuttoned the rest of her shirt, pulling it half way down her arms

"yes"

She discarded the shirt completely on the floor of my office, letting her hands rest once more upon her hips, and the waistline of her plaid skirt.

"am I teasing you Edward?" she asked me huskily

"God yes Bella, please un-fucking-tie me, please baby?"

"Not yet, I'm still not quite done" she smirked up at me

She hooked her fingers under the waist of her skirt, pulling them down, inch by inch showing me all of her blue laced glory. I groaned and struggled against my ties, finally freeing my hands from their monstrous prison. I jumped up, practically growling at Bella, wrapping my arms around her into an embrace, pulling her against my body and pushing my lips down on hers hungrily. I didn't realise but Bella was slowly pushing me back towards my chair, unbuttoning my pants at the same time. She finally managed to unzip me and shoved my pants and boxers down my legs with her arms, before pushing me back into the seat and climbing back on top of me.

"That was naughty Edward," she whispered into my ear, her teeth grazing my earlobe. My heart rate increased, and I hoarsely replied,

"I thought it was time that I taught you a lesson Bella, you shouldn't be such a tease"

"I'm only a tease if I don't intend to go through with it, and I have every intention of following through"

Before I could realise what was happening, she had jumped off me, and pulled her panties down her legs, in one swift movement, before climbing back on, rubbing herself on my hard cock.

God, fuck, warmth, wet ecstasy. I grabbed her body so that I could remain in control.

"God Fuck Bella, so fucking wet for me, come on baby, sit that tight little pussy on my cock baby."

She brought her mouth to my ear once more replying,

"I love it when you talk dirty, baby"

She pulled her head back, and without warning thrust herself down on my cock.

"ah" we both groaned in ecstasy, I hadn't realised how much I missed this, it had only been two fucking hours. My head fell into her shoulder, as I tried to gain some semblance of control.

Slowly , very slowly, she started to rock against me, I hadn't realised before, but the way we were together was a very intimate position, we looked each other in the eyes, our arms weaving around the other's body, kissing each other desperately, we knew this could be the last time, but I hoped to fucking god, that I would get more than this with my angel. Slowly the pace increased, thrusting my hips into hers, I couldn't help but worship her body, placing sweet kisses around her neck and face. I groaned out at the sensation of it all, I was almost there.

"Edward, I'm almost there, harder, faster, baby"

I looked up into her face. Her hair was wild and out, framing her pale face, with a light pink flush to it. Her head was angled slightly back with her eyes partially closed, and her mouth open.

She saw my head move to watch her, and pulled her face back so that we were staring at each other, chocolate brown, into forest green. I thrust harder into her, and she bit her lip, not daring break the connection, I thrust one more time, and I felt her clenching around me, and I couldn't hold it anymore. We both cried out each other's names, seeing stars all around. It was the fucking best sex I've ever had.

She rested her head on my chest trying to regulate her breathing, while savouring the feeling of being close to me. There was honestly nothing we could say, the silence wasn't awkward or comfortable, it just was. I looked up into her chocolate warmth and smiled at the two orbs. She smiled back, a little restrained.

Before I could say a word, she had jumped off me, and started rapidly pulling her clothes on. I stood up, still woozy from the after effects, and forced her around to face me. I could see the tear tracks on her face, but my angel shouldn't cry.

"Bella, why are you crying? Don't cry baby"

"Edward, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to attack you like that, god you must think I'm some sort of slut or something, I'll just go"

By this time she was almost dressed and ready. I quickly shoved up my boxers and pants, determined not to let her go like this, she had to understand

Her hand was already locking the door, but before she could open it, I grabbed her arm and yanked her back to me.

"Bella, don't leave like this, that was wonderful amazing, you're beautiful and pure, you're not a slut, how could you think of yourself like that. I would never like you as much as I do, if you were," I took a deep breath, not sure whether I should continue, "I like you very much, and believe it or not but I noticed you before I ever came here."

She looked up at me eyes wide, before mumbling something before looking at the ground.

"What did you say?"

A bright red pigment grew across her cheeks, but she continued to look at the ground

"I use to watch you giving lessons to Mrs. Clearwater next door, sometimes"

My heart almost stopped, she use to watch me, like I watched her?

Seeing that I was clearly stunned, she tried to make a break for it, but I pulled her back, wrapping my arms around her, forcing her face to meet mine, kissing her passionately, showing her how I felt. She relaxed and her fingers wrapped themselves in my hair.

I heard the door open behind me, and sheer panic coursed through my body, we both pulled away quickly, but not quickly enough. I turned to see who had interrupted us, seeing Emmett. He looked between us, from Bella in her rumpled uniform, and me baring my chest to the world, still in a state of shock, there was an awkward silence, I could hardly breathe properly let alone speak.

"What the Fuck is this?"

Fuck I'm screwed to Hell.

**AN: So, everyone understand? Hope you like, any questions just ask in a review, you know you want to... just hit that green button below, and Review.**


	3. New Discoveries

**AN: ok I'm so sorry this took so long to come out, and I'm really not sure this is my best work, but bear with me, this is the chapter where I change the story from being a one-shot into an actual story, so sorry no lemons this chapter, and its shorter than my usual chapters, but I promise next chapter will be longer, lemon filled and going somewhere.**

Chapter 3: New Discoveries

BPOV

I almost collapsed, I was so embarrassed. Fuck this was supposed to be the easy, cowardly option, well there goes the last time I listen to my brain. Not only do I awkwardly try and seduce my teacher, but then I tell him, that I watch him when he's giving lessons to my next door neighbour, Stalker much Bella? I'm just overwhelmed, overwhelmed with everything. I can't believe I started crying; I started crying, because I knew that this was the last time, he could never want me anymore.

I was such a slut, just like Jess and Lauren, I wanted more, never had I felt this way, sure I wasn't some saintly virgin thanks to my drunken stupor and lack of inhibition, but that didn't erase the fact that I was not normally like this. I had acted like a slut, I had seduced my god damn teacher, even tied him up. Just the memory brought shame and guilt, so then the word vomit starts, as well as more tears and I almost tell him everything, all my worries and thoughts. Then he kissed me. He stopped my words of hate and self-loathing and fucking kissed me. He had made it very clear before, that this was about sex, didn't he? I mean he practically told me that he wanted me to come back and Fuck him senseless, but that didn't necessarily mean he cared for me or anything did it? Like I said before overwhelm, overwhelming, overwhelmed, three words I can use to describe how I feel. My situation is going to overwhelm and engulf me, until I surely drown. I was definitely feeling the overwhelming sense of unease, at what I had done. I was overwhelmed that I could do such a thing, seriously I fuck my teacher twice in one day and a teacher had caught us in a compromising position, of which had he come a couple of minutes before, would have witnessed that I fucked his co-worker's brains out and then I expect nothing to happen? Who am I fucking kidding?

And yes you're right, all these thoughts were running through my head when Mr. Emmett McCarty was staring at us wordlessly trying to think of a logical reason why we were just in each other's arms, I almost laughed as I saw him trying to think with his eyebrow furrowed together. What the Fuck? No Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm almost laughing when I've just been caught making out with my teacher? Fuck I must have turned psychotic in the last minute.

"What the Fuck is this?" I heard him say, when he figured out the truth, and only reason why we were indeed glued to each other's faces.

Edward seemed unable to do anything. Fuck I could almost feel my hysterics threatening to unleash themselves, I had to get out of there I fucking had to, before he could blame it on me. I quickly grabbed my bag, without a second glance, almost breaking down. It wasn't until I was locked safely in my beat up old red Chevy, that I let it all out. I screamed, I cried, I laughed, that's right I fucking laughed, and because my stereo refused to do what I wanted it to do, I tore it up, practically ripping my fucking fingernails off. Ok I admit, I was confused, and hysterical and Fuck My Life.

The pain, that's all I could focus on, the pain grabbing at my heart. The pain of guilt, of self-loathing, of –yes I'll admit it- a broken heart. It's not necessarily that I'm in love with Edward, I just don't know what I'd do without him, he's a mentor, a friend, a companion and I love him. Despite everything I love him, and I guess I can't help who I do and don't love, can I? I truly thought he wanted me. I thought I was more than an easy lay, a forbidden prize, but no, it's obvious that now that we've been caught nothing is going to change, except perhaps the amount of times I will now blush whenever I'm in his class, remembering how soft his lips felt against my lips, my cheek, my neck, or the dirty words that he says in the throes of passion. That is something I will never forget, and will never hear again. It's just not fair, that I won't get to see him so vulnerable, yet so happy ever again.

I guess life is just not fair, it was not fair when it took my parents away from each other, it was not fair, when my mum remarried and left me to Forks, and it is certainly not fair, that my dad is never home, because I look too much like my mum who left him, and resulted to spending time with my teacher, so much that I find herself in the position where not only do I love my teacher, but I have also fucked him twice, talk about fucked up. It didn't take me long to get home, especially pondering on all the turmoil in my head. The soothing noises of my truck ceased and I opened my front door, ready to be overcome with emotion, when I saw a note on the door.

_Out fishing with Billy, you know the drill_

_Love Dad_

Great, after everything that has happened I'm left at home alone to wallow in my own self-pity, just my fucking day. Although I guess I can't fault dad, every Thursday he and Billy go fishing after work, and then go back to his place to watch the game. I use to go there too, and see my friend Jacob Black, but ever since Edward Cullen gave lessons to Mrs. Clearwater next-door. I would feign tiredness and school work, just so I could see him. I haven't seen Jacob for almost 6 months. That makes me sad, Jacob was my best-friend until Edward came along, and now look what has happened. Jake was always the one I turned to, and now I barely see him, because I've been too obsessed with a teacher, to even bother to call him, poor unsuspecting Jake, he use to ring me every Thursday when I first stopped coming, but at the time I didn't care, every Thursday for 6 Months. Thursday... wait that means...

Fuck it's Thursday, my usual ritual consisting of watching Edward and Mrs. Clearwater have a piano lesson, sit for another hour dreaming of what it would be like to touch Edward, begrudgingly make dinner for myself, go back to my room pondering on what Mr. Cullen was like in bed and during this fall asleep. Will he come tonight? Is he game enough to come; now knowing that I live next door? He practically wrote me off as an easy screw, he didn't even respond when Emmett found us. But then what was that kiss? If I was just an easy screw why would he kiss me afterwards? I looked out the window, thinking to myself, everything is just too complicated, why don't I quit while I'm ahead, my inner musings were brought forth from the site before me. Fuck Me.

EPOV

I could feel the tension practically strangle me. I literally could not breathe properly, what with everything going on. I couldn't even answer Emmett's question, because the truth is, I had no fucking idea. What the Fuck Is this? I'd had Bella around my cock twice now, and I know that in my 24 years, I have never felt anything like that. Could I really just call it sex? I was so fucking confused.

I felt Bella shift and move, leaving. I knew she had to leave, but I didn't want her to. She was probably just as confused, if not more so than me and now I have to deal with Fucking Emmett, by myself. Fucking Great.

As soon as she left the room, I waited for Emmett to start, already cringing slightly. There was still dead silence, I think he was waiting for me to answer, but my thoughts were nowhere near what he wanted me to think. I should be feeling extreme guilt that I'm a dirty old man that took advantage of his young naive student, and that I should never teach again. Don't get me wrong, these thought were definitely in my mind, but images of Bella kept popping up. Her small smile at my lame ass jokes, her sexy smile, her face of pure pleasure in my lap, Her crying, a look of self-loathing as she berated herself, and finally panic and hysteria, as she reached her bag, and a completely dead look as she brushed past me to the door. That last look is what haunted me the most, that deadness, corpse-like, that's what broke me.

My knee buckled under me and I slowly sank to the floor, wondering how the fuck I was suppose to fix this, I had to fix her, she was so breakable at times, and I needed to make this better, I was just so Fucking confused. I looked up, Emmett still gaping at me, and I lost it, it was his fault. If he hadn't interrupted, she would never have left like that, Fucking Emmett and his inopportune barging in.

"What the Fuck are you doing here Emmett? Why the Fuck did you Barge in? She was so scared and upset, and I'm comforting her, then you fucking Barge in, do you know what you just did? Did you see her broken face as she left, you're the cause, you broke her Emmett." At this my voice sounded hysterical even to me, but I broke off to a whisper at the last line.

Emmett looked at me sadly, pity evident in his eyes.

"No, Edward you did"

As the reality of his words hit, I realised I had been blaming Emmett for my fault, my transgression. I had to make this right, I had to show him.

"I didn't mean to, it just happened," I started. Emmett groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

"Edward, tell me that was all, please, tell me I interrupted you before anything happened"

What do I do? Do I lie to my best friend since High School; do I lie to the guy that's always had my back? Fuck I couldn't do that to him, he had told me, when he said he had fallen in love with Rosalie, his mechanic. So why couldn't I do this? Oh that's right, he might become so sickened by me, that he'll tell the school board and never speak to me again. He wouldn't do that, I don't think.

I sighed placing my head in front of my knees on the cold hard surface looking for relief.

"I can't tell you that Emmett, not unless you want me to lie to your face" I whispered quietly

"Fuck Edward" he exclaimed while running his hands through his hair.

"Why Edward, why? What the Fuck would possess you to-"

"Look Emmett, it's not going to happen again, I can at least promise you that."

"Edward, you like her don't you? You can't promise me that if you like her"

"Of course I like her, if I didn't like her, I wouldn't have fucked her now would I? And of course I can stop, I'm not a fucking teenager anymore"

"So it was just one fuck, am I right?"

I looked down at the ground, contemplatively. I had to get her out of my head; I had to show him that she didn't mean anything to me, or did she? So do I lie?

"That was the second time, ok? Earlier today during lunch was the first. That is it; I buried my own grave when I gave her detention after class, then we sort of attacked each other. I was determined for it not to happen, but I was so weak, seeing her twice in a day screws with my resistance Emmett"

"You screw her twice? Then say to my face that it means nothing. Did you not see her face as she ran out of here Edward, I never thought I'd say this to you Edward, but that is appalling. You think you're all high and mighty, nobody can touch me, I'm untouchable, but then you go and do this. Need I repeat Edward What the Fuck?"

"I'm Sorry, it wasn't supposed to happen" my voice cracked

Emmett looked down at my broken form

"I'm not the one you should be telling that to"

"What do I do Emmett? I thought it was fucking, but now I'm not so sure. I've lusted after her for so long-"

"You've been lusting after your student and you didn't even fucking tell me, I could have prevented this whole thing, but now you're up shit creek without a paddle, because you can't control you're dick"

"Look it's not like that Emmett, I-I really like her" there I said it, I like her, not just because she had a beautiful body, but because she liked to read the classics, her copy of Bronte was one of the most weathered, yet preserved copies I had ever seen, Because she didn't like double standards, and her stubborn temper, would make me laugh, because of the way she would laugh, when I told my extremely lame jokes, or when I praised her on her work. Because of the way she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, when I would critique her work. Because she was the sweetest kindest person I had met, and wanted to understand the way she ticked.

"You really like her huh?"

"Yeah" was my weary reply

"Edward... I don't know what to say. I'll look out for you man, but seriously, it's your first year of teaching, and you fall for your student."

"Is it really so bad that I like her Em?"

"Yeah," he sighed," yeah it is."

I was still on the floor. I got up, tears were threatening to break. I hadn't felt this bad in so long.

"Edward, dude you look like shit. Go home and chill, we'll figure this out tomorrow, yeah?"

"Ok Em thanks for having my back" I murmured monotonously

"No probs, sorry if I was a little harsh back there, you know you just caught me by surprise"

"Yeah I know" I walked off, melancholy gripping my very body. I didn't even register getting into my car and driving home, until I realised I was parked in my parking lot. I banged my head against the steering wheel, finally realising what I had done. This realisation hit me all at once. Poor Bella, she must hate me, she must loathe me, I need to make it up to her, and stop this before it goes too far. My phone went off. Fuck, it's Thursday, that means I am supposed to be teaching Sue Clearwater piano. God must hate me, if he subjects me to this torture.

I hurriedly rushed to her house, only to be cut off by two cars making their way into the house next to my destination. One was a police cruiser, I assumed to Charlie Swan coming home from work, funnily enough, in the 6 months that I had been teaching Sue Clearwater, I had never seen the cruiser home at this time. The other car was an older model Volkswagen Rabbit, and behind the wheel I could just make out the shape of a young man and an older man behind the wheel. They also pulled up behind the cruiser. Who are they? And why are they at the Swan residence? I parked ahead of them slightly amongst the shadows, to watch the scene unfold. Wait why did I care? Wasn't I supposed to avoid Bella at all costs? But I want to know who the guy is.

I saw Charlie Swan hurry to front door, and opening the door.

"Bella hurry up, I've got a surprise for you"

I saw Bella reluctantly walk to the door warily. I chuckled softly at her; she always said that she hated surprises. I watched the scene unfold, and a small pang in gut, became even more prevalent.

"Jake" I heard her cry out surprised, before she ran into his waiting arms.

"Bells, I've missed ya" the man I assumed was Jake replied, wrapping his arms around her, before spinning her around, while she giggled at his antics. It was the clear the love in his eyes, and I couldn't help but growl at the Boy, but then what right did I have? I was her teacher, maybe even borderline friend/acquaintance; here was her boyfriend, wrapped up in her. She probably didn't even want it; she was probably scared I'd fail her or something if she didn't do what I what, god I'm such a sick pig. God she must hate me now, I need to get her and everything out of my head. Fuck.

I made my way towards the house next to the one I wanted to be going to. In a most sombre mood I walked to the doorstep, and rang the bell. Before I entered the house, I turned around, hoping to catch one more chance. I turned as chocolate brown eyes met my green. I looked at her painfully, seeing the boy's arms around her waist, before I turned and entered the house.

**AN: so people I know that Jakes there, but believe me, it's not some stupid love triangle thing, I love Jacob, but I'm truly Team Edward. Besides Edwards got more to be worried about than another guy crushing on Bella, this was to get them moving a little, ok now I realise it's not my best chapter to be honest, was scared to even post it, but bear with me for the moment, have already started writing next chapter. **

**And Lastly ... REVIEW! Just share some love, because at the moment sort of drawing up blanks as to whether you like what I'm doing, or where I'm taking this, and any suggestions or ideas would love to hear.**


	4. Explanations

**Hi there chicky's i am eternally sorry that this took so long, especially with me being on holidays, but all i can say, is that study sucks and i wish school was over for good. and i wish that i could bring out 2 chapters ever week, but that is almost impossible, what with finals coming up. so i hope you will enjoy this, i was going to put a lemon in, but i didn't think that it worked, you will understand why.**

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Chapter 4: Explanations

EPOV

I couldn't stop myself. It's like I've got this built in sensor with her, and I hated it, I could almost feel her very presence, yet there was two layers of brick and glass, not to mention the side fence between us. It's not fair for her to have this pull from me. Why did this have to happen to me again? Oh yeah that's right, it's because I'm a sick perverted teacher, that can't keep it in his pants for a year, stupid bastard that I am.

They were all sitting in the living room, directly opposite the piano in Mrs. Clearwater's house. I couldn't concentrate, I could never teach properly with her in the same room, yet now as I tried not to watch them together; his hands around her shoulders, tickling her in the side, her snuggling closer to him, I could not help but wonder, why can't that be me?

Wait

What? No it was a mistake, and a big one at that Cullen. It could and should never be that, again, ever. I was tempted to just start banging my head against the wall, screw the fact that I was in the middle of teaching a student, albeit a kind older lady, and not give a shit. Student... Shit and that brought me back to Bella. Fuck my life.

No, I just needed to talk to her, tell her I was sorry, that it was a mistake, that I never wilfully meant to seduce her, ok well that was a lie... what I mean is that I never meant for it to go as far as it did, and that it was all my fault not hers, I mean shit, I was supposed to be the responsible one. I was supposed to tell her good luck in the future, and hope to hell that she transferred out of my class and my life forever. Yeah easier said than done, Fuck I wish I had brought a little liquid courage, but in all honesty, I never in a fuck's chance thought that what had gone down tonight would occur, I mean she never ever mentioned a boyfriend once in all the six months that I've had the pleasure of knowing her, maybe that's because it's none of your business Cullen, you fuckup.

Even sitting there in the drawing room, with old Mrs. Clearwater, couldn't stop my mind from wandering, back to those few minutes when I felt our precarious student teacher relationship slip.

_I surveyed her in the chair in front of my desk, watching her fill out applications, waiting so I could read over them._

"_You're very talented Bella, what do you want to do? Where have you decided to apply to? Are you going to stick near Forks, or do you want to go abroad?" I said to her kindly._

_She laughed at me_

"_Are you always this forthcoming with questions?"_

_I laughed_

"_No, but I guess I'm genuinely interested in what people plan on doing after they get out" I didn't mention that I really only cared what she was doing, but I continued anyway,_

"_I mean I never imagined myself as a teacher, but here we are" I finished smiling at her. She smiled back curiously before opening her mouth, her lips full and plump, oh god. Focus Cullen Focus._

"_So, why did you become an English Teacher Mr. Cullen?"_

"_Just so you know, you can call me Edward if you like," I told her, yes it slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself, but to hear her say my name, instead of the Mr. Cullen shit, made not only my dick ache, but my chest as well, surprisingly._

"_To be honest, I'm not really sure, I guess teaching was always in my mind, but at first I was going to do Medicine or Music, because believe it or not I'm actually a child prodigy at the piano," I winked at her, and she laughed._

"_But I had a dream one night, during freshman year of college, and I was in a similar room to this laughing with kids and joking around, and I rather liked the image, so I signed up for education the next day."_

"_So a dream that you had one night, out of the blue, made you want to become a teacher?" She asked incredulously_

_I laughed at her_

"_Well yes it sounds kind of crazy I'll admit, but I wouldn't be here helping you with applications, if I didn't listen to my head saying education, education, education"_

_I chanted the end of my sentence and she laughed again, I was really starting to like it, maybe it would be possible to stay friends with her after school I mused before the nagging annoying voice, reminded me that I could never keep it in my pants if I didn't have a boundary. She pulled me from my stupor_

"_So you became a teacher, but why English? If you loved medicine and music, why not a biology teacher, or a music teacher?"_

"_You'll have to thank my friend Rosalie for that, she told me that I was too much of a pretentious ass to be a teacher in Music or Biology" I laughed, "She said that if I went into either fields as a teacher, I'd become a bossy know it all, that she had to step in and not only save myself from the travesty, but my colleagues and students."_

_She laughed rather hard._

"_Well no offence, but you can be kind of pretentious; I can only imagine you in Biology and Music"_

"_Hey! Well anyway I guess English was the next choice, I was generally good at everything," she coughed when I said this, something that sounded a little like "pretentious" but I continued "but English was something that I enjoyed thoroughly, and I am a secret fan of the classics, I spent many nights in high school sitting in my room reading."_

"_Oh ok I guess that makes sense" she said and smiled up at me, I swear my heart jumped slightly, and I frowned, hoping that I there wasn't anything wrong, but I shook my head and looked down at her, suddenly remembering my original question_

"_So you know you never did answer my question, Bella"_

"_Oh yeah, well, now I don't want you going all conceited on my ass, but I want to do English, I was thinking creative writing or teaching, or something along those lines"_

_My smile widened, and I chuckled to myself_

"_So this sudden urge to go into English, has absolutely nothing to do with me?" I grinned at her cockily_

"_No you cocky Bastard- oh sorry Mr. Cullen, er... I mean Edward? I didn't mean to call you a cocky Bastard" she said nervously, but I'm sure I heard her say "even if you are one" under her breath, and I couldn't help but laugh. She glared at me, making me snicker at her._

"_Anyway" she rolled her eyes, "To be honest I'm not sure where I want to go, I'm applying to UW, I mean it's going to be hard to leave Charlie, but I kind of want to go out and see the world, hence the other applications, not that I care where you know?"_

_I nodded my head in understanding._

"_So what happens if you gain acceptance to a school abroad, won't it be hard leaving everybody?" I was genuinely curious as to her life, not that you should be Cullen._

"_It'll be hard leaving Charlie, he's really the only family I have left now," she paused looking away from me. I wanted to force her head back towards so she would look me in the eyes and tell me._

"_but all my friends are going abroad too, Alice and Jasper are wanting to go to the East Coast, and while I'd love to go with them, I don't want to just be the third wheel around them."_

"_Ahh.. the proverbial third wheel, I don't think I can count the many times I have had to deal with that" I chuckled remembering just yesterday the consequences of Emmett and I going out only to have Rosalie thwart my plans._

"_And there's no one else?"_

"_well," she blushed, "There's no one else I want to spend four years of college with"_

I tried to think of any other conversations that had come up that could have hinted toward her dating. The only person she had talked about was Charlie, her father, how did I not know about "Jake" wait, why I did I care? Sure I thought she was absolutely stunning, and to a degree she was a friend, but that didn't mean anything did it? Of course not, I was just protective of her; I wanted it to be me, to make sure she was alright after everything that had happened. Yeah that's it.

"Edward darling, you seem a bit out of it, you know we can always reschedule our lesson?"

Mrs. Clearwater looked at me kindly worrying, but she was always like that, she was always so caring and kind to me. I sighed, I knew I was really in no condition to teach, so I took her up her offer, telling her I'd call and rearrange a time.

I walked back to the window to pick up my books. I always sat near the window so I could glance out to see Bella. I guess it was just instinct, but I looked up one last time, to see her looking at me, her deep brown eyes meeting my green. I needed to talk to her. I jerked my head in the direction of her front yard, my eyes never leaving hers, and she nodded ever so slightly to me.

I watched as she stood up, talking to the rest of them, not that I could hear what was being said, quickly slipping out of the room.

I followed her lead, and spoke briefly to Mrs. Clearwater, apologizing, but she waved me off, telling me it was fine.

I walked out the door, glancing towards my right, and saw Bella sitting on her front porch, staring down at her feet. I walked toward her quickly, suddenly becoming nervous, and upset at her downcast frame.

"Bella we need to talk"

BPOV

It had been nice to see Jake again after so long. I put all my grief and hysteria and locked it tight at the back of my brain, so I could enjoy the presence of my Best-Friend. He picked me up and swung me around, in such a Jake like fashion, I could help but laugh at him, feeling slightly relieved at the welcome distraction. That was until I saw Edward's eyes; I saw the sadness, the anger, the self-loathing and most of all disgust. I was hurt. I truly was sorry, and of course I was going to apologize, but still. But I just locked it up with everything. I didn't want to ruin everyone's night with a pity party. Especially when I couldn't tell them what was wrong. So I relaxed, it was always so easy with Jake. He didn't expect anything, and always had the ability to make me feel better. The hairs on the back of my head prickled slightly every now and then, like someone was watching me, but I put that at the back of my mind and snuggled closer to Jake. After about fifteen minutes I was starting to get bored, so I untangled myself from Jake, and got up preparing to clean up everything and try and not think about Edward, but of course speak of the devil. As soon as I got up I saw him staring at me from the window of Mrs. Clearwater's place. He looked like shit, but I'm sure I didn't look much better, and he nodded his head to the front yard. I sighed, so I was expected to talk about this right now, with friends and family over, great. Fuck my life.

"I'm just going to go clear my head outside, I need a little air, it's a little stuffy in here, with three guys eating and watching the game" I teased at them

"Bells, come on I only just got here, stay for a little bit," Jake whined

"I'll be right back I promise, just in time to watch you clean up your dishes Jacob Black"

"Aw... Bells, fine" he huffed at me

I chuckled at them and opened the door to wait on my porch.

I heard the front door of Mrs. Clearwater's house open, and I immediately looked at the ground, I couldn't face him, it was just too embarrassing. Fear fuelled adrenaline rushed through my veins as I heard him approach my front steps.

"Bella, we need to talk"

Those four fucking words just about ended my sanity, here it was, his reluctance to deal with me

I sighed; couldn't this wait another fucking day, so I could clear my head? No of course not, he had probably come over here to first blame me, then make sure I kept my mouth shut, like I would tell anyone, but his face unsuccessfully masking his disgust of me, and something else, filled me with a sudden bout of anger and with that I lost the plot.

"I know, and before you start screaming and yelling about how irresponsible and childish I've acted, and that you never want to ever see me again," I started hissing angrily, "I remind you Mr. Cullen, that you didn't stop it either, so you are just as much to blame for this, and I know it will never happen again," my voice lowered to a whisper

"and I'd just like to apologize for my behaviour, I understand it was entirely my fault, and I'm sorry I put you in this position-"

Before I could finish my apology, he butted in.

"You think I was coming over here to blame you for everything? For fuck's sake, I know I am partly to blame, and I was going to apologize, and ask that you keep this," he said gesturing between us, "to yourself, and that includes your boyfriend" he spat. I stood there shocked, mouth hanging wide open...boyfriend?

"I can't believe you didn't even tell me you had a boyfriend" he mumbled to himself. That got me angry, who the fuck did he think he was? Was I supposed to tell him everything about my personal life, not that I had a boyfriend, but who the fuck was he talking about?

"Not that it's any of your business Mr. Cullen," I sneered to his face, "But who the fuck is my boyfriend?"

Those green eyes that I had fantasized about over and over flashed with anger.

"Have you already forgotten about dear old Jakey? Do you think I'm blind? I saw you two snuggle up on the couch, his arm around your shoulders, what would he say if he found out his girlfriend fucked another guy twice behind his back, and she liked it."

Blinding rage hit me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, I slapped him. Hard. The tears were starting to well up, almost threatening to spill over.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that? How dare you? Jake is nothing but loving and kind to me-"

"So you do have a fucking boyfriend, well that's just peachy Bella, just fucking peachy, I never took you for the cheating type, but now I guess I've seen everything" he said to me bitterly.

I yanked his face down, toward mine, so that our eyes were level.

"And he is nothing more than a friend, who I haven't seen for six fucking months," I replied quietly, never letting my disappointment in my eyes leave his.

His eyes lowered, and he shamefully hung his head,

"I never been more insulted in my life, especially when a teacher that barely knows me, feels that it his place not only to fuck me, but then proceed to tell her that she is two timing slut, when he knows nothing!" I spat back at him. I blinked back the tears refusing to cry in front of him, but somehow one lone tear managed to escape.

His eyes softened, and he put a hand on my shoulder, and whispered an apology

"I'm sorry Bella, I overreacted, I considered us friends, and I was hurt that you didn't tell me that you had a boyfriend,"

There was no need for me to hold a grudge, I mean yes I was angry, but I got what I wanted, an apology.

"Apology accepted," I responded quietly. He ran his hand through his hair contemplating whether to continue, I looked at him expectantly,

"I realise now that you don't and I guess I was just a little jealous, after everything that happened today, considering that you did like it" he grinned half-heartedly at me. I appeared to be affronted, but inside I was smiling the cocky bastard.

"And how do you know I liked it, and rather just making sure that you didn't dock my grades?" I shot down his cocky ass.

"for two reasons," he paused for dramatic effect, and I snorted at him,

"One you came back for more, and two you kissed me first" he smirked at me, well fuck me. God the smirk was back, did he not know what that smirk did to me?

"Don't worry I won't be making that mistake again" I answered back shakily

He looked at me cautiously, seemingly battling with something in his mind, but then his crooked smile returned.

"You know I never heard you complaining about it" he replied huskily. Fuck.

"In fact," he mused tracing his fingers against my lips, "you seemed to be quite vocal in how much you enjoyed it" Fuck Shit, was he trying to make me combust spontaneously. Oh fuck I've fallen off the wagon. Again. I know I'm going to hell, I just know it.

"Well I can't deny I didn't like having your hard cock inside of me" I whispered into his ear, licking his earlobe.

"Fuck" was all he said before his mouth crashed down on mine, wrapping one hand tightly around my waist, and the other tangling in my hair, our tongues fighting for dominance, and his hard cock pressed into my stomach.

This is wrong Bella, you'll only get in a more Fucked up situation if you continue this, stop before someone comes in again. That made my brain think, and I remembered Mr. Emmett McCarty had walked in on us, Fuck, I needed to know what happened.

I pulled away, but he continued, placing sloppy kisses all down my neck, rubbing his nose gently across my collarbone, my mind was trying to grasp, what I was trying to achieve, but slowly drowning in the lust, and sensation of Edward.

"Edward," I didn't mean to moan his name but I did. But he must have groaned too, because I felt the vibrations along my neck, and I almost lost control. I knew I needed to stop this while I still had some inkling of a coherent voice.

"Edward, stop." I said pushing him off me slightly. He froze, and immediately jumped off me, spluttering apologies. I thought it would be better if I could just shut him up for two seconds, so I forced my mouth back to his hard, and well his shock gave me the two seconds I needed. I pulled away and before he could apologize again I spoke

"Emmett," well that stopped him, his mouth was halfway open in the shape of an o, and I almost laughed, almost.

"Well, Mr. McCarty to me, what happened Edward, I need to know." I knew the fear was present on my face, as I watched as his eyes turned cold and his jaw clenched.

"I believe it is Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, and Mr. McCarty is perfectly fine, I will see you in class tomorrow Ms. Swan, goodnight." And with that he strolled away to his car, the son of a bitch. Good one Bella Good one, apparently asshole Edward is back. I sighed, at least it is the end of the day, because honestly, could my day get any worse?

* * *

**So if you liked, you press the green button, and just let me know that you liked, and i will try and reply, i only just recently discovered the reply to reviews button. yes you can laugh at me now, i do. **

**and i hope you understand, that although a lemon would have been nice, Bella is not an exhibitionist, especially in front of her father and her best-friend, and well the entire neighbourhood. **

**also to anyone that has any music suggestions, currently compiling playlist, but some song choices from you guys would be awesome as well.**

**and for those of you that don't Understand the whole Emmett thing, wait for it, i have plans.**

**J**


	5. The End

Chapter 5: The End

**AN: Okay, so I'm finally finished with my trial exams thank god, for those of you that don't know..it's the final exams of school, before you take the big tests that figure out whether you get into uni or not.. anyway.. point being, I'm back and ready to go. Thought I would add a couple of songs to this, finally getting into it.**

**Bonkers- Dizzee Rascal**

**Paranoid- Linkin Park**

**Shameless- All Time Low**

**The End- Jason Reeves**

EPOV

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I wanted to hit something and breakdown into an emotional wreck, _What like the fucking girl you are?_ Shit. Am I always such a bipolar maniac? Maybe Rosalie wasn't being a bitch, maybe there was some truth in my mood swings giving her "fucking whiplash" as she so eloquently put it.

Seriously what the fuck is wrong with me? I am one seriously fucked up mother fucker. I go over to apologize and maybe sort out this fucked up thing we have, but I totally lost it once her walls were up. She was never this defensive with me, ever, and well I thought it was because Jakey was right on the other side of the door and I was hurt and confused and jealous and... fuck. Yes I was harsh and cruel, but it was like Tanya and my mother all over again.

Ok I know that is no real excuse, but can I help it if I'm a little insecure? I mean I don't truly love Bella like I did Tanya, or even like my Mother, so there was no reason why I should have... Wait why the fuck would I, should I care about any of this? _Maybe it's because you're not a complete asshole and you might actually care about her opinion of you because you like the girl. _Wait. What? Do I like my student? She was incredibly hot and fucking sexy, she's smart and intelligent, she has a good sense of humour, and the size of her heart just might rival Esme's, she doesn't like double standards, and she is quite possibly just as stubborn as me. What's not to like? _No asshole do you LIKE like her?_ I tried to dredge through my memories to come up with an answer, I smiled remembering last night. Apart from the biggest fuck up of my entire life she still managed to give me this warm fuzzy feeling that no matter how hard I tried wouldn't contain, and that kiss, I mean it was just a kiss, but it felt so right. Shit I do fucking like her, I mean before I would have just categorized it as in the moment, but now, actually sitting down thinking about it, I do like her and not as I should. Ok well this just means I need to keep my distance, I mean we need to talk, but that can wait until Monday. One day of ignorance never hurt anyone, and I'll be able to gather my thoughts better. Right?

Fuck who am I kidding? I want to just rip my hair out with how insensitive and cold I've been to her; I'm just one big fucking rollercoaster of emotions. I mean firstly she spouts out this whole thing saying she's sorry and that it's her fault, which got me angry, I mean why is she blaming herself? She should be placing the entire blame on me. I mean it was my fault that my mother didn't want me, my fault that Tanya left me, this is just one more thing to pile on Edward Cullen's history of Fuck ups. I mean then I get angry at her, calling her a slut to her face. Why someone couldn't hit me over the head I don't know, I sure as hell deserved it. well I guess someone sort of did, I mean she slapped me and put me in my place, and holy shit if that wasn't the sexiest fucking thing I had ever seen. What the Fuck? Jesus Christ a girl is pissed at me, slapping me for being utterly ridiculous and insensitive and puts me in my place, and it's a turn on? I try and suppress it, but the horny fucker that I am just breaks through, and then her talking about how much she liked my cock I couldn't help it, fuck even now, he decides he wants attention on top of everything that's gone on today.

Everything today is just fucked up, I mean I actually kissed a student on her front porch with a neighbourhood full of gossipers, then when she reminded me of our situation I was a cold hearted bastard. Although, to be fair I thought that Mrs. Clearwater might suspect something because my car was still there, but when she referred to Emmett, my friend Emmett, the biggest goofball and idiot as her superior, I knew I couldn't shouldn't be doing this and I just bolted, yes the most cowardly option was the one I chose. I felt like a god damn prick for doing that to her, leaving her on her front porch after I kissed her, then coldly told her to never address me like that again. I fucking saw the tears in her eyes as I left, I wanted to go back and make it all better and kiss her and tell her that I wanted to make it all better and that I was a prick; then she would hold me, hug me, grab me, kiss me, not before slapping me, for being such an insensitive prick. No I couldn't do what I wanted, and she was probably snuggling up to Jakey crying her eyes out, lucky fucker.

I arrived back at my apartment and slowly made my way to my bedroom. I realised then and there that nothing could be solved tonight, and that I might as well get some sleep. But the problem is, when you sleep you dream, and some dreams can turn into nightmares.

_I walked into the classroom and my nose was assaulted with her scent, a scent so powerful to my body that it was dangerous. I walked into the room, there was three of them. Bella was in her usual seat in my class, Tanya was in my high backed chair, and my mother was looking out the window surveying the world outside bothered not to look at my face. I deserved it all; the glaring face of my ex-fiancé, the cold stoic blank canvas of Bella's face, and my Mother's indifference. She turned to face me and all I saw on her face was pain and disappointment. Bella stood up from her chair, scraping the hard linoleum and came to stand next to my mother sneering at me. Tanya also stood up and stood on her other side glaring angrily at me._

_There they were the three turning points in my life summed up by three women._

_It was my fault my dad left, to never return nor hear from him again, it was me that asked him how he knew he loved my mother, was it love at first sight, how happy were they, I mean why the fuck did I ask those questions, what would possess a seven year old boy to ask such questions. He left and she looked so broken and so disappointed when she looked at me. I was the one that put those doubts in his head and he took off. If it had not been for me we would have survived, we would have been a family. Fuck up Number one._

"_I'm sorry mum, I really didn't mean to ask those questions, I know you're disappointed in me, I know I fucked up, but I was only seven," my voice cracked at the end. I could feel the sweat building up. She just shook her head at me, that same disappointed look on her face._

_Tanya, it was my fault she never loved me, my fault that she had to go somewhere else to feel loved and special. Could I honestly fault her for it? I had been so angry that she had cheated on me in our bed, just a couple of days before the wedding, but she had screamed at me that I never paid attention to her, that I never made her feel cherished and special, I tried, I really did, I would walk in the park with her every Sunday, we would always go past the place we first met, and I'd always take a photo of us together in that spot every Sunday and add it to my scrapbook that I was going to give her at our wedding. I wrote a song about her, and performed it for her at our first anniversary. I gave her my grandmother's diamond ring, the only thing I had to remember my birth parents by, my grandmother's ring, the one that my mother took off her finger and gave to me to keep safe before dropping me off. I thought I had shown her love, but maybe I wasn't very good at it. _

"_I'm Sorry I fucked up Tanya, I really did love you, I guess it just wasn't the way you wanted me to love you." I was choking up, tears starting to enter my eyes as she continued to glare at me disregarding my apology._

_I flinched away from Tanya, lastly Bella. I did not want to see her face; I was scared of what I'd find. I looked at my shoes, the hurt was too new, too fresh to face._

"_Bella I'm truly sorry, I am a sick bastard, that took advantage of his student, I truly think the world of you, and I hope that you will forgive me because I've had enough Fuck up's in my life that I need to resolve at least one."_

_She said nothing I was too scared to look up, my whole body was clenched painfully and I was ready for the cherry on top; my eyes slowly rose higher and higher, almost unwilling to meet her face._

_The room started shaking, and the images slowly coming in and out of focus, a faint buzzing noise was getting louder and louder._

I woke, covered in sweat, shaking slightly, realising that it was all just a dream, but I was worried. My dream Bella had never said anything, and I was too much of a coward to look at her face. After all had been said and done, would the real Bella be the same?

I glanced over at the clock. 7:38. Shit, I really should be getting going otherwise I was going to be running late.

BPOV

_Mirror, Mirror on my wall_

_Tell me who is the loneliest fool of all_

_Now wait a minute I believe I see_

_The answer staring back at me_

_Diamond Rio_

That's right, I'm staring at my mirror wondering how the fuck it got so twisted and trying to explain to my angry chest why the foreboding sense of dread and anguish wouldn't disappear. I stare at my face, the faint dark circles under my eyes more prominent from the pale pigment of my skin. I take in the straight lifeless brown hair, the saddened brown eyes, and realise... I look like shit.

When I woke up this morning, I sighed and turned back to my room pondering on what to do today. My eyes surveyed the room, it had been barely touched since I'd moved in with Charlie; I had a slightly newer computer, the bed spread had changed, and the clothes had become bigger, but apart from that, everything was the same, the same old Forks. My eyes caught the figure of a small doll sitting on the dresser. I remembered that doll, I had gotten it from Charlie the first summer I had spent in Forks, and I was 8. Ironically it represented Forks to a t, you were excited when you first saw it, but after a while, it lost its excitement, became a little worn, a little old, and the next thing it's sitting on the dresser in the bedroom you never use, not to be remembered again except in passing every ten years. The thing that scared me the most was the doll. It had long brown hair big eyes, and its face a porcelain frame. I can't be that doll, I refuse to be that doll, and that is what decided my fate. So now I'm staring at myself in the mirror of the school bathroom, trying to prepare myself for what I know is going to be a showdown. The only way to continue through this is to remind myself why it can't continue, despite my teacher being the hottest thing that my eyes have ever had the chance to behold. I refused to be that doll; I refused to be played with to no avail, because someone would get hurt, and that someone would most likely be me.

I walked, slowly but surely toward my English classroom, the blue note in my hand, the blue note that would make or break Mr. Cullen, although he would never dare show it.

I walked up to his desk standing in front, waiting for him to acknowledge my presence

"Yes, Ms Swan?" he asked through gritted teeth

"Mr. Cullen I just need you to sign this, then I will be out of your hair"

He looked up at me; a flash of something crossed his face, before a smooth mask was transformed on his face. Finally glancing at the note he looked at it blankly before his eyes hardened and the grimace returned.

"Ms. Swan please sit, I will need to discuss this with you at the end of the lesson before I sign it," he dismissed me with a wave of his hand.

I sighed, I could understand, but for me it would be too hard to stay in his class. It would either be guilt over what had transpired or disappointment that it couldn't continue, no matter how impossible I knew that sounded, that would make it unbearable to stay in his class. I guess I really hadn't thought it through, I mean Edward- Mr. Cullen had every right to talk to me about this, I just thought it would be painless and easy to switch my timetable so I wouldn't be in his class anymore. If only the other teacher I was getting wasn't Mr. McCarthy, I reckon everything would have been peachy, I mused.

Mr. Cullen started the lesson, asking for our assignments, going around the room to collect them from our desks. I know I probably shouldn't have but I watched him, I watched his interactions with the other people in my class and I never realised it, but he seemed normal when he didn't need to deal with me, he seemed just like a good English teacher should. Maybe it is a good thing I'm leaving the class, maybe I'm just a poor little girl with a crush on her teacher, I mean it's not unheard to have a crush on your teacher, it's just unheard that he reciprocates back. I guess it was a little heat in the moment, three times in a row, but hey that happens, I think. I see him heading towards me; I lower my head so I can watch him out of the corner of my eye without suspicion on his behalf. As he makes his way to my desk I can see him physically tighten up, his jaw is clenched, his shoulders tightening ever so slightly, but his eyes, those forest green orbs are burning. I see those eyes staring back at me and I can't help but follow him, my head raising as he approaches my table. Although he has a blank look, I can't help but see the intensity of the emotions he is bottling up. He reaches for my paper, and I hastily pick it up to give to him and his hand brushes against mine, so soft and warm and...tingly? I see his mask drop, if only for a second, but he looks to be in pain. I hide my face looking down, allowing my long hair to fall in front of my face. I didn't realise it but my breathing had picked up, my heart beating a little fast. I heard his chair scrape the floor and I realised he had walked away, and that the coast was clear for me to look up, just slightly.

My thoughts throughout class drifted in and out of reality. One minute I was paying attention to his lecture on Edgar Linton, Cathy's husband, and his role in the novel, the next I was contemplating every single look, every single touch and interaction that had happened between us. He was always nice and friendly, even sometimes tender?

"_Bella, this is great, remind me again why I'm reading over this? I mean you're a natural when it comes to writing"_

_He was reading another of my college applications, because I was worried that I was just writing boring monotonous stuff. God I was a blushing fool again, but I can't help it if Mr. Cullen looks so sexy all the time I mean seriously._

"_Thanks Mr. –Edward" _

_He chuckled at me grinning, devilishly handsome, I might add._

"_Bella, do you always blush like that?" he teased, and I couldn't help but blush a little deeper._

"_You mean do I always turn into a tomato?"_

_He laughed at me, nodding._

"_Well I can't help getting a little hot and flustered when I feel embarrassed," I said awkwardly._

_He smiled at me softly, "do I make you feel embarrassed?"_

"_Only when you're praising me, I'm not a fan of the centre of attention."_

_He chuckled again, more to himself, muttering something._

"_What was that?" I asked a little teasingly_

"_I was just thinking about how you're not going to not stand out from the crowd, especially in college"_

"_I'm pretty good at remaining invisible," I replied _

"_Not to me," I heard him mutter, but I don't think I was supposed to hear that. Did I hear that correctly? Maybe he just meant my work, I mean I was a good student, but I guess in the times we've talked I've always been a bit laid back, I mean I guess sometimes I feel at ease with Mr. Cullen, Edward. I'm not used to talking so much._

Maybe I was wrong about being a doll, Edward wouldn't use me, but maybe I'm hurting him, I mean he was in pain when he touched my hand. What is this?

The bell took me out of my haze, and I started packing my things up. Everyone left the classroom and all that was left was the two of us.

We starred at each other for a few minutes, neither one of us daring to speak. He looked at me almost fearful of what I was going to say, I couldn't understand it. I figured we just needed to approach this rationally and maturely. I took a deep breath.

"Edward, it's ok, I'm not going to bite your head off" I held my palms up to show him I wanted to approach this maturely.

He still starred at me, I guess a mute today.

"Edward, it's ok, I know everything was a mistake, I just think that if I transferred out of the class, it would make life a whole lot easier on everyone" I reached for his hand, I hadn't realised I was that close, but I thought that if I rubbed small circles on the back of his hand it might relax him a bit.

He looked at me with a small sad smile and took both my hands in his.

"Bella, firstly, I'd just like to apologize for last night. I was being a complete dick. Firstly I shouldn't have lost my cool and called you names, it was immature and unfair on you, I mean I'm supposed to be the adult here-" I started to say something, but he put his hand up to stop me, "I also want to apologize for kissing you again, my brain was still a bit frazzled after everything that happened yesterday"

I nodded smiling slightly at him.

"I also want to talk to you. I have a confession to make", he paused slightly before taking a breath to continue,

"Bella, I can't help being attracted to you, I can't help but like you, I mean, you're a likeable person, I mean, urgh, this is coming out wrong. What I mean to say is that, kissing you was nice, in fact it was better than nice, but it can't happen again, it shouldn't happen again, and I understand if I make you uncomfortable now, and I won't protest you moving to another class, but I just wanted to ask if you think it's wise? I mean you're already through almost half the content and you want to change teacher, a different style of learning and teaching? I just... I'm not sure it's the best thing for you Bella. If you still however think that it would be better if you left the class, I won't object, and I will sign the form."

I sighed, thinking about it, Edward was right, it's stupid for me to move classes. I guess knowing that I'm not just an easy lay for him, made me feel a little better.

"I guess you're right Edward, it does seem a little stupid to leave the class" _I just didn't want to be the doll._

"The doll?" he asked confused.

"Shit, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah" he said sheepishly

"umm... well on my dresser in my room is this doll that my dad gave me, and it reminds me of Forks, and well I don't want to be stuck in Forks, I guess you could say I get that from my mum."

"I still don't understand"

"I'll give you a little history, my parents are divorced, when I was three, my mother left my dad and took me with her and I was living with her up until last year. She left because she felt suffocated and couldn't settle down in Forks. She's a little ditzy and wild, but she's not my mother, she's my best-friend, almost like sisters" I smiled at this remembering my mother, "The significance of the doll was one time when I was visiting in the summer, when I had just turned 8, my dad gave me a porcelain doll that looked like me in hopes that I would stay with him. I loved it at first, but it was a porcelain doll, I couldn't really do much with it, and I eventually bored with it. It reminds me so much of Forks. I just didn't want to become the doll with you." I finished quietly.

He looked at me eyes burning, pulling me into his arms, crushing his body against me. It was just an embrace, but it was so much more.

"You would have never been that doll Bella, not to me," he whispered into my ear, I sighed into his arms.

We loosened our grip on each other slightly, not letting go. He rested his forehead on mine, eyes closed, before pulling away to look at my face.

"I guess this is goodbye then?" I asked hesitantly.

He chuckled smiling slightly, "yes I guess it is, at least to Edward and Bella," he said motioning between us. I was sad that I wouldn't be able to call him Edward anymore, he was the only Edward I knew, and it was such a nice name. I knew it was inappropriate, but I just needed to feel him one more time. I was hesitant, but I asked anyway.

"Can I have a goodbye kiss?"

He regarded my face; I could see the indecision in his eyes. He removed one of his hands, to run through his hair, before nodded slightly.

He bent to kiss me again, this time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet. It made my heart ache for more, but I knew this was the end. We eventually pulled away glancing at each other, neither of us willing to take the final step, but I knew I had to, for the sake of both our sanities.

"Good bye Edward"

"Goodbye Bella"

I smiled sadly at him, and walked through that door. With each step I took I felt my heart clench just a little harder.

**AN: Aww... so they figured things out, although I'm guessing it's not what you guys thought ey? Leave me some love, you know you want to... and don't worry this is sort of their first realisation that there might be more to it than they first thought, just bear with me...it's NOT the end, but I thought that you got to realise that they are unsure of themselves and each other, and that this is a really serious thing to happen. Anyway Review, let me know all your thoughts.**


	6. Pieces

**AN: Terribly sorry for the delay but I had killer writer's block, as well as the pain of real life getting in the way. I must also announce with a heavy heart, that I will not post again until November; yes I know it's a fucking long time, and I apologize, and I'm probably going to lose a truck load of readers, but never fear I will still be writing during that time, I just won't be able to update. Don't blame me, blame the shitty thing we call HSC in Australia, the exams that tell you which uni you get into, Life Sucks.**

**If any of you are interested, check out Edward Masen: Hitman by MissSCullen, in my favourites, I am her trusty beta ;) Another Story i found, was Your Friends and Neighbours by Ava Little, also in favourites, if you are into Forbidden Affairs and stuff, found it out of the blue. Anyway I will have another one shot up soon, which I was going to enter in the Age of Edward Contest, but being the perfectionist I am, didn't get it in on time, then I've been slack and lazy in not posting it up. So I give to you Roman Gladiator Hunkward.**

**Disclaimer: S Meyer owns the Twilight Saga, I just like to dabble. **

_**Pieces- Ellery**_

_**What I've Done – Linkin Park**_

Chapter 6: Pieces

Week 1

It's the first week without contact, I've come to realise that my world has become an empty shell, I never realised how much he affected me, how much he was in my life. It was customary for me to come by and have a chat about almost anything, of course keeping to the student/teacher relationship, but I truly considered him my friend, and we chatted about our lives and such, I learnt so many things about him during those talks, he wouldn't talk about his family too much, although he said that he grew up with his aunt and uncle, he loved strawberries, strawberry flavoured anything. He started off as a music major, but later switched to English, although he said it was his friend, Rosalie; who was also Mr. McCarty's fiancé, I noticed that his eyebrows were slightly creased in pain whenever i asked about the finer details of college and music for him, I had this yearning to learn everything, but now I'd never get that chance.

That day in class was an anomaly to our relationship, I mean there was always witty banter between us, but I didn't realise the amount of sexual frustration that had built up towards us, that had resulted in the fight in the middle of class.

It was the way in which he was truly sincere and understanding and joking to me that got to me, that i missed and in truth I was upset that what was between us was ending before it had developed into anything else, but I also knew that it was wrong, unwise and illegal.

They say the first week to break a habit is the hardest and then it just gets easier, so far this is the hardest week of my life, I only hope that the constant ache will dissipate, it's all I can hope for.

Week 2

Whoever said it gets easier talks from their ass.

So I had become a little weak, I've acquired a new skill, people watching,

Well I guess its more Edward watching.

It's week 2 and already I'm starting to fall apart, and I can't tell anyone about it, Alice keeps bugging me in usual fashion, but I can't, no I won't betray Edward's trust, and yes I've started calling him Edward in my head. It has stuck and no amount of telling my brain no is going to change that. From the moment he said "call me Edward" that day when looking over my applications, I couldn't stop.

At least it has stayed in my head. For now.

My resolve was getting weaker, I could feel it. My brain was no longer functioning properly, when he was near, I think my sense of smell has been heightened, well at least my sense of _his_ smell. I'll admit it now, that it has been two weeks, I'm miserable, we see each other and all that is there, are the small sad smiles, that we allow each other, no more friendly banter, no more witty comments. It was eating me up, I barely communicated with Alice, and I knew I should make some sort of effort towards her, but I was exhausted, it took every ounce of strength to do what I did, maybe next week it'll get easier.

Week 3

It had been 3 weeks. 3 weeks of this torture, not being able to touch, to smell, to stroke, all I could do was to listen. Listen to his beautiful voice, his wonderous small smiles every now and then. It was ironic, that although I had only really held him close once or twice, it had turned into a need a craving that couldn't be filled with much else, and it was all I could think about for the past three weeks. I remembered his crooked smile and his carefree laugh that now had become extinct, although I would never forget his sad voice filled with longing, a sad smile, his eyes holding mine captive, as he said 4 words every time class ended.

"Until next time, Bella"

He would always watch me as I left for my next class. Every day it was getting harder and harder to not beg him for just one more touch, one more smile, just something, anything, but as always I would be strong. Alice was starting to openly comment on my demeanour, and she was worried, although I kept my promise to Edward, it was killing our friendship, me not speaking to her. I needed her friendship, I needed someone to care, someone who would be able to hold me if I were to cry. The pressure was building up, and if I didn't find a release I would explode very soon. He had always been kind to me, always friendly, always considerate, and for once I could talk freely and had things in common with someone, but now that was banished. I couldn't believe how much it hurt, I didn't realise it until now, but this was more than infatuation, more than just a sexy body. I was falling for a man I could never have, and it hurt, it hurt like hell. I needed to talk to Alice.

Alice had started to arrange a girl talk every afternoon, every fucking day since my encounter with Edward, of course I had always refused to go, too scared something might slip out, but I knew she was hurt, I could see the desolation in her eyes as I refused her to instead go home and stare at my small piano, I had stopped playing it was too painful, just knowing that he played the piano. This afternoon, I was going to let her in; I had hope that I wouldn't crack and tell her everything, I had promised Edward I wouldn't.

I sat down next to her in last period Spanish. I looked at her, and immediately her attention was on me. I tried to smile at her, to which her mouth had fallen open in surprise.

"Are we still on for this afternoon?" I asked her quietly

She nodded at me silently, a smile gracing her small face.

"I just want some company Alice," I replied, "I've missed you Al, I don't think I can tell you, but maybe just doing something?"

"Of course Bella, always" she smiled weakly at me, but I could tell her excitement was starting to Bubble. She was fidgeting the rest of the Spanish Lesson, even Jasper, who usually calmed her could barely contain her.

I had decided that I wanted Jasper to come I would feel better if there was a calming force in the room. Although Jasper was still fairly new to our usual two-some, I always felt at ease, he liked to joke, liked to have fun, he and Jake were very close when it came to my list of friends.

Once class was over, we all jumped into Alice's Yellow Porsche and made our way to the Brandon Mansion. I was nervous, my palms were clammy, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and a light coating of sweat dusted my forehead.

We were all led up to Alice's room, and I made myself comfortable on the bed.

Jasper kissed Alice's forehead and whispered to Alice,

"I'll be back darlin' don't push her too hard"

"Jasper, can you please stay, if I'm going to confess, I only want to do it once, since it's the only thing you're here for," I said bitterly, they looked stricken, Fuck this Edward thing really was getting to me. I apologized before they could get another word in.

"I'm sorry that was unfair, I'm just a little stressed, I didn't mean to say that, besides Jasper you are as much my confidant as Alice, please j-just don't judge me too harshly" my voice cracked at the end.

"Bella honey, it's alright, just tell us, everything is going to be alright, we would never judge you." Alice said quickly wrapping her tiny body around me.

"Why don't you start from the beginning Bella" said Jasper

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but I think I will explode if I don't," I tried to beg them silently not to judge, but they remained stoically watching me, "I-I think I might be falling for Edward," I began, but I saw the blank looks, and realised they had no clue who I was talking about.

"Mr. Cullen, I mean," I looked at them my eyes checking their reactions, their eyes had widened, but they said nothing, Alice was rubbing small circles into my hand and it reminded me of him, and then the flood gates opened.

"Three weeks ago, do you remember that detention I got with Mr. Cullen, Alice?" she nodded her head, her eyebrow raised quizzically, this was the first time I had ever seen her so calm.

"Alice, we started kissing," both their eyebrows were raised high, "then it turned into a full blown make out session," their eyes bugged a little more, "and.." my voice dropped to barely a whisper, "we had sex, twice, and Mr. McCarty caught us." The tears had started to fall, and I was now sobbing into Alice's lap.

Alice remained quiet, I think she knew there was more to the story, I figured seeing as the worst was out of the way, and she wasn't kicking me out I might as well let it all out, I was already feeling better.

"He came over to my house, when Jacob was over and started yelling at me, pretty much calling me a slut for having Jacob as a boyfriend, and cheating with a teacher. We then started to make out again, before he left me coldly saying to refer to him as Mr. Cullen only."

I had to stop, they said nothing however. The tears were starting to die down now, and I continued quietly.

"I tried to leave his class, but he didn't think it was a good idea. I said goodbye to him Alice, and it hurt, it fucking hurt"

My whole face became buried in tears, I just couldn't think, couldn't function properly.

"Honey, I'm trying to make sense of what you said. So you were in Mr. Cullen's class, you seduced him, and had sex twice, Mr. McCarthy caught you while in the act?"

"Just after we had gotten dressed and were kissing, Edward didn't say a word Ali, not a word, so I left"

"Asshole," she muttered under her breath, "so then you went home and he came over to your house?"

"He teaches Mrs. Clearwater next door, and saw me with Jake, and thought we were together, I hadn't seen Jake for 6 months Ali, and he was my best-friend before you."

"I know, I know, and so he accused you of cheating on Jake with him, calling you a Slut?"

I nodded

"Then he started kissing you?"

"Yeah, then I asked about Mr. McCarty on what had happened and he froze up and left"

"Is he bipolar or something?" I tried to open my mouth to object, but she pressed on,

"Ok, then the next day you tried to get out of his class and he cornered you, and told you that it was stupid to leave?"

"Yeah, then he admitted that he liked me, but that this could not go on, that it shouldn't have even started, and that we needed to keep our distance, and we said goodbye."

"Holy shit, how the fuck have you kept it in?"

I was surprised, Alice wasn't generally one to swear.

"I know Ali, it's just, it hurts,"

"I know honey, it always hurts love always hurts,"

"What? Love?"

"Bella, can't you see, you've fallen for Edward, hard."

"Yeah, ok I've fallen for him, but I'm not in Love Ali, I-I can't be"

"Jazz help me out here, Bella you've been infatuated with this man for months, I would even hazard a guess and say you were already in love with him before, well at least complete lust, but Edward, he's shown you a kindness that not many others have. Just remember, he's a teacher, you're lucky that Mr. McCarty is best-friends with Edward or you'd be in deep shit. Although to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind kicking Edward in the balls, I mean what is his problem?" she continued her musings aloud.

"I don't know Ali," I responded dejectedly

"You know Bella, Emmett, Mr. McCarty is dating my step sister, Rosalie" said Jasper, thinking aloud, "Yeah from what I overheard, Edward has been through a lot, but I think you're making the right choice to stay away, I'm sure it hurts, but hopefully in the long run it'll be better for the both of you."

"Don't worry Bella, we'll look after you"

I felt spent having purged myself of all the anxiety and frustration, and I was really tired, I just wanted to go home I didn't want to cry around them anymore. They knew, but I was unsure as to if they really understood what I was going through, although Alice and I were best friends, I'm always the third wheel to their devoted relationship. I really just needed someone who understood me; I knew who I needed to call.

"Thanks guys, but I think I just need to be alone now."

They drove me home; Alice kept glancing at me looking back from the front seat. I knew she was worried, but I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder and I was feeling better than I had in days, but I knew that this wasn't enough. I sat waiting for him to come.

I was sitting on my front porch; it was twilight, on the cusp of being too cold to be outside, and dark enough that no one would really see me here crying. But of course he saw me, he always saw me, when no one else saw me, he did.

My head was in my hands, my mind foggy. But I heard his voice.

"Bella?"

I couldn't help but hear the pain, the anger and sympathy in his voice. I lifted my head slowly to see him, an almost broken look on his face; I knew it killed him to see me like this. It had been 3 weeks since we had really interacted with each other, and I missed him, I missed his smiling face, I missed the easy laughs, the effortlessness of us.

"Jacob," I sobbed and fell into his arms, my emotions taking complete control of my body. I needed someone to love me for the time being, I needed to be taken care of, and I knew that Jacob would do the job. He held me close stroking my hair as I cried for a love that could never be, and he comforted me without asking questions, like he always said he would. I was truly grateful for Jacob's company and friendship.

"Shh Bella, it's going to be alright, I'm here now."

EPOV

Three weeks, three fucking weeks, I couldn't understand why it was getting to me so. I mean what the fuck was I thinking when I said I wanted her to stay. Okay so I admit I was a selfish bastard, I mean I just wanted an opportunity to see her face after all this, I wanted to see what she did, if she would move on, I wanted to watch what happened, and that would never happen if she weren't in my class, of course I gave her some bullshit about school, but I just wanted to be able to see her face, especially after all the shit that had happened. I honestly don't know why I did it, I could see the hurt, and I'm sure she saw the two facets of interaction in my class, but I just couldn't let her go, even if it had been the end.

That last kiss, it just kept replaying over, and over in my head, refusing to leave my mind, showing me what I had given up, but I knew that it was for the best, not that I cared what happened to me, I just wanted to make sure that she was alright, and I don't think I could put myself up for anymore heartbreak.

But that kiss invaded my thoughts, and stayed with me, evident through the fucking hard on's that were becoming a daily occurrence.

I whacked off when I could, and fuck me it didn't take long, all I had to remember was that kiss, and the memory of fucking her on my desk. despite all the whacking off, my shirts were still crumpled, my tie always askew, the mutterings started.

I knew I looked like shit, I sounded like shit, even acted like a little shit, and I couldn't help it. Emmett even came and talked to me, our relationship was strained, because I blamed him, it was unfair, but like I said, I'm a little shit, looking to blame anyone but myself. I had sunk into pity, but I had to get on with it, I needed to stop this shit.

I was marking papers on my desk, the red pen slowly dying out, but I kept going determined until I got to the untidy scrawl I always recognised as Bella's. I came across Newton, fuck that boy had been a thorn in my side, he was always after Bella, she was constantly dealing with his shit, and what a little shit he was. Maybe a nice F would put him in his place. _No Edward, this right here is exactly why you and Bella would never work out, do you honestly think this is what Bella would want you to do? _Stupid annoying voice.

I got up frustrated glancing at my watch

7:27p.m.

Shit had I really been at this hell hole for that long? Fuck I'm running late for a lesson for Mrs. Clearwater.

I drove like a madman to get to Mrs. Clearwater's she had always been so nice, that I couldn't bear to disappoint her.

I hurried walked across the lawn, trying hard not to glance at the house next to me; of course I cheated a couple of times. I saw that there was a small window open in the back of the house, that I could hear the faint sounds of a television. I sighed, she was probably not even downstairs, probably up in her room like usual. I must have stopped mid way across the lawn, because the sound of a car door being shut, broke the blanket of calmness, and I jumped slightly. I narrowed my eyes, and could see in the distance, a tall boy hop into the front of a VW rabbit.

"See you around Jake, tell Billy I said hi," came a gruff voice I recognized as Chief Swan.

Jacob was here. That meant Bella had to be there, it took all my will power to not run to all the windows, if just to catch a glimpse. I sighed; I needed to get over this. I continued to walk to the front door, when I heard the strangest sound. It was the soft tinkling of a piano, I thought at first it must have been Mrs. Clearwater, but the timbre was different, it sounded like a much more worn and old piano, than the one I was accustomed to at Mrs. Clearwater's. It was a simple piece, with rich harmonies, and an effortless counter-point. A soft light, voice pierced through the night, poignant and delicate, but like a spider's web, so very breakable. I knew it was her, it had to be her. I stood enraptured on the front door step as the words penetrated through my body.

_"Figured it out, I should have figured it out by now, it's nothing but a wish, but we all dream of something greater..."_

I could hear the pain in her voice, and I abandoned everything, and quietly crept near that small window, just to hear a little bit more.

_"Kept my mouth shut, I should have kept my mouth shut, baby; it's nothing but trouble, although it's had me here before..."_

She thought this was all her fault? I wanted to go in there and comfort her, tell her how much it was my fault and she was innocent to this.

_"No matter what, no matter what I hear myself saying it's never what I should have said..."_

What did she really want to say? I yearned to know her true heart, even if it might kill me.

_"Pieces, I'm in pieces, I'm in pieces, I'm in pieces, and I'm invisible"_

How could she think she was invisible? I always saw her, every little trip, every shy smile, I always watched her, like the creepy little stalker that I am, and it hurt me so bad to not say something, in fact in the end it might kill me. I saw the tears in her eyes as she sang the song, and I longed to put my arms around her and just comfort her, take the hurt out of her eyes.

I must have made a sound, because she suddenly stopped and turned towards the window, I ducked just in time, my heart was racing, what if she saw me there? Did I want her to find me, so I could tell her how much I cared? She never told me she could play piano, and her voice warm and delicate like summer rain, it had been so long since I've played, sure I teach for a little extra money, but I had never truly played since Tanya, Aunt Esme tried to encourage me, but I simply didn't have the heart, but watching, listening to her, made me really see the true emotions music could portray, I never saw it as a way to vent, but more a way of proving my worth, but that failed like everything in my life.

Tanya, I thought I loved her, hell, I thought she loved me, she wore Elizabeth's fucking ring for me. I gave her my entire world, but it was worthless. She didn't want my world, she wanted Tiffany's and she wanted me to become a famous musician, I wanted to teach, I wanted to have kids and grow old together. When I found her with James, my heart fucking broke and I convinced myself that I was destined to be alone. I could drag Bella into my world, but it just wasn't fair to her, I'd eventually poison her, my own mother didn't want me, my fiancé didn't love me, what hope did I have for a student? No matter how much I wanted her to be My Bella, no matter how much those soft lips called to me, it was impossible, and I fucking hated it.

I heard her sigh as she leant on the window sill looking up into the sky

"Edward, what are you doing?"

My blood froze in fear.

**AN: alright you know the drill, review my lovelies, I thought very long and hard about this chapter, and there are several other variations that i wrote as well, I want to make sure this wasn't complete crap, but knowing me and my flip a coin attitude, this might not have been the best, but let me know if you think this was quasi ok...sorry about the cliffy, ain't I a stinker. =D**


	7. Desperate Measures

**AN: Yes this has been a long time coming, and I truly am sorry for the wait. But I've had multiple deaths in the family, finishing school, starting Uni... etc etc. So I give you permission to hurt me, just don't hurt Edward and Bella, because they don't really belong to me, but to S Meyer, I'm just unimaginative. So this was technically supposed to come out New Years Day, but because I'm slack I only had half of this done. So instead I am bringing it to you Australia Day, happy Australia Day everyone. Many G'day's all around. I promise next chapter won't be as long a wait.**

Chapter 7: Desperate Measures.

EPOV:

I scarpered. Yes I'll admit it I was fucking scared. We stared at each other, neither of us blinking, neither of us moving a muscle. I was fucking speechless, absolutely unprepared for the consequences of my eavesdropping tendencies. When it came to fight or flight, I was always the fucking bird, the stupid pansy assed bird that flew south for the winter. I ran away from her and the surprise, hurt, shock and anger. I can't imagine what she saw in my eyes, but I can't fucking believe she thinks that of us, of me. I honestly had no words, so I did the only thing programmed into my brain, I ran, I fucking got up, and walked as fast as possible towards the white doors of Mrs. Clearwater's house. Even as I walked I could hear her calling me, pleading me to come back and explain, her voice permeating through the night.

I didn't look back.

As much as I wanted to I couldn't, my mental and emotional state was already hanging by a thread so a confrontation about my stalking tendencies would probably be enough to make me boil over, and end up with me either yelling at her for thinking so low of herself, or attacking her to show her how good she makes me feel, both reactions would have dire consequences. Not even Tanya had had the ability to calm me and to make me see sense, like Bella used to.

I remembered when I had been having a rough day, Esme was on my back about coming to visit her and Carlisle, and when I had blatantly refused her for the fifth time that week, she broke down in tears and told me that we were supposed to be a family, it would have been what my parents wanted. I couldn't speak to her anymore after that and I ended the call. It just so happened to be the day of Tanya's birthday, and I was a complete mess.

_The door swung open quietly and she entered the room, I could tell by the simple aroma of strawberries and freesia that infiltrated the air. Upon seeing me, head on the desk and everything a mess, her steps faltered and she approached me unsure. At that point I was beyond caring who walked through that door, but all the same I was grateful it was only her. I lifted my head slowly off the desk and stared up into her eyes. I'm sure she saw the desperation, the anger and the pain, but I was too emotionally distraught to care enough to rearrange my features, she was finally seeing the real me._

_She slowly sat down in front of my desk, the silence in the room starting to be become suffocating, but neither of us wanted to be the first to break. However it was clear from her features that she was very worried for me, a thought that I was comforted by._

"_Edward are you alright?"_

_And with those few simple words that could have come from anyone's mouth, I found myself telling her what had happened, how today was Tanya's birthday and also the day that she had left me, and Esme wanted to play happy families, while all I wanted to do was drink and wallow in self pity. Through it all she had cautiously taken my hand, and was rubbing small circles with her thumb into my palm. It was a sign of comfort, something that I had desperately needed at that time. She had not only given me comfort, but she helped me to understand Esme's actions a little better._

"_Edward she's trying to take care of you, make sure you don't turn to wallowing, especially today. This is her way of trying to help you get through it, with comfort, with your family surrounding you. She is in pain too, knowing that you are in pain."_

"_She's not my mother."_

"_But you are a son to her. You might only be her nephew by blood, but to her you are her son. A mother will always protect her young when they are in pain."_

_We sat quietly for a while, neither of us speaking while her thumb and presence relaxed me_

"_Thank you," I whispered after a while._

"_You're welcome," she smiled back at me_

_Suddenly the world didn't seem like it was out to get me today, and I knew that today was going to be alright. It might be painful, but at the end of the day the sun was always going to come back for tomorrow. _

BPOV

Edward had been here.

Why had he been here, at that exact moment, when I was pouring my soul out, purging it of the bad memories.

He wasn't supposed to be there.

I tried calling out, anything to get him to turn around so we could communicate, but he wouldn't even glance back. I slumped dejectedly back onto the piano stool. Nobody in Forks knew I could play the piano except for Charlie and Jake, not even Alice knew about it. It was my way of escaping, it would soothe me to just sit down and play pieces, and Edward had invaded that, I felt betrayed that he hadn't let me know, had the common courtesy, but I guess he just doesn't know that much about me. We've chatted so many times, but Edward has a block, a wall that he thinks I don't notice when we touch certain subjects, like parents. The only time I had ever seen his walls down was that particular day, Tanya's birthday, he seemed so tired, I just wanted to smooth the tired angry lines from his face, but I still tried to help him, even if I didn't know the story.

If I couldn't get him now, I was going to wait. This had to stop; the looks of longing, the small sad smiles, the evident stalking, I can't take it anymore.

I waited for those thirty minutes to pass so I could at the very least have a simple conversation with him. He owed me that much.

I saw him as he exited the front door, saw his face transform from easy camaraderie to anxiety. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty, but this had to happen. It felt almost like Mission Impossible, and if I wasn't desperate to have this conversation with Edward I would have laughed at the way he skulked across the front lawn.

He was very much in shock, written all over his face as he approached his car seeing me casually leaning against it in the shadows. I wasn't generally a devious person, but the situation was calling for desperate measures.

He looked down to the cemented footpath, probably examining his feet, too fearful of my reaction, before he spoke to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

The way he wouldn't even look at me, acting like a boy just about to be scolded, made my heart tremble.

"Edward, you can't keep doing this, it's not fair to you nor me,"

He knew what I was talking about, you could see it in his face, I knew that once he listened to that song, that he had realised I was so much far deeper than he anticipated, and it scared him.

"It's just that, I need to feel some sort of connection to you,"

"But you can't, I can't move on without a clean break, I can't,"

"What are you saying? Move on?"

"Look Edward, it may not have meant much to you, and you probably don't want to hear this, but our friendship, dare I say relationship, meant a great deal to me, and the only way I'm going to get on with life and move on with different people, is with a clean break."

"Bella," he whispered, "you mean so, so much to me and... I'm not sure how to say this, but I'm not sure if I can move on, not knowing you are at the same place I am, just a few feet away, I need to feel some sort of connection to you, is it selfish for me to say that I don't want you with anyone else? Because that is how I feel, I can't have you, but no one else deserves you."

I could feel the tears start to well in my eyes

"Don't say things like that! Don't say things you know can never happen, God I don't think I could deal with the hope if I believed what you say, and then it is all for nothing, It needs to stop Edward, Now."

He closed his eyes taking deep breaths, clearly trying to control his emotions,

"Bella, please," he voice cracked slightly, "I just need to hear your voice, I used to look forward to those afternoon meetings we had, you always knew the right thing to say, I need that in my life, please don't take it away from me. It's been three weeks and I can't seem to function properly, and you always managed to help me decipher my life, before I fucked it up anyway," I tried to stop him, but he continued holding up his shaking hand, begging me to let him finish, dropping down to a whisper, "You don't need to be in my class, I just need to hear your voice, talk to you, I wish I didn't, but I'm done trying to live in denial, it never got me anywhere anyway," he finished bitterly.

I stood staring at him for a long time, well at least it seemed like a long time to me. My head and my heart were doing battle, urging me to just hold him and tell him everything will be alright, giving him the reassurance he so sorely needed, and the other was telling me to protect myself, not let myself get any deeper and remain firm.

I sighed glancing at the pocket of his shirt, noticing the red marking pen sticking out, how ironic.

I grasped his hand gently, and at first relishing in the feel, the feel of our bodies connected, even if it was only through me holding his hand. It was the first sign of contact we had had in 3 weeks, and while it was inappropriate, so was the next thing I was about to do, yet I couldn't bring myself to stop.

I pulled out the red pen from his pocket, hearing the sharp exhalation of breath, and grasped his wrist firmly. On the back of his hand I wrote my number. He looked at me shocked, and as the silence grew, I knew I had to go back to the house; this was goodbye, at least in person.

"If you ever need to talk."

I turned from him, dropping his hand, no matter how unwillingly and walked slowly back to my house. On the last step of my front porch I chanced a glance back. My eyes meet his eyes, and while they seemed solemn and conflicted, there was no mistaking the smile on his face, as he watched me walk away.

I left it like that short and simple, and hoped for the best. I had left the ball in his court and now it was his turn to play.

I lay on my bed, for what seemed like ages, unable to sleep as my mind kept running through visions of the future, the consequences of giving Edward my number, I felt naive and childish for the first time since this started. Regardless of everything I was still clutching my phone, constantly checking it, both anxious and fearful that he would ring.

Finally when I was just drifting off, slipping into unconsciousness, it started to vibrate. I looked at the caller id, and it was an unrecognisable number. I looked at it frantically, hell I did say he could ring, but wasn't it too soon? Isn't it customary for a guy to wait three days until he is allowed to call the girl?

My finger hovered over that green answer button, and I glanced to my bedside table taking note of the red numbers displayed

12:34 A.M

My thumb was now fully covering that answer button, but without enough pressure for it to click into place. I heard a low murmur from the only other person occupying my house, and I stupidly and belated realised that I was not the only person to hear the shrill ringing from my phone. Before I could think twice my thumb had pressed that little green button, and I was now connected to Edward, keeping Silent to listen for the tell tale signs of deep sleeping Charlie, or what I liked to call snoring.

The silence of both the household and the phone was starting to create a heavy layer of tension, but finally simultaneously the deep throaty snores of Charlie, and the soft nervous voice of Edward caused it to dissipate momentarily, at least for me. Until my brain caught up with me and realised who was actually on the other line. I was nervous.

"Edward?" I answered quietly on the phone.

"Bella," he seemed to sigh in relief, "I-I'm sorry for calling this late, but I was lying in bed and I couldn't stop thinking about today and you, and you said whenever I needed to talk you would just listen, and I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep, but it was-"

"It's alright Edward," I couldn't help but smile at his babbling, even if he couldn't see it, "I did say you could call whenever you wanted, but just a little warning would be good, if you plan on making these nightly conversations permanent."

"Like I said Bella, I am so sorry-"

"It's alright, why did you ring me? What's wrong?"

He seemed to hesitate with his answer, not quite willing to share.

"Is it weird that I just needed to hear your voice, not as a student, but as a friend?" he asked quietly

_Friend_ the word seemed to have a bitter taste in my mouth, but I knew what he meant. I had already purged myself to Alice and Jasper, and to an extent Jake, but who did he have? Emmett? In passing he had told me of their friendship, but it is obvious to me, if not the whole student body that their easy-going friendship is something of the past. I needed to help him, I had come to care for the broken man on the phone with me, and he needed comfort and friendship, the only thing I could offer him at the present.

"I know how you feel, just tell me and I'll listen," it used to be our routine before all the bullshit and lust that we let ourselves get into.

"I don't know what to do anymore, with my life, with my family, with you," my heart started beating faster at the mention of me and his confusion, "I feel like I've lost everything, because of stupid mistakes that I have made," My heart began to sink as he said these words, "but I thank god that I have you in my life, it's the one thing I don't regret ever, and I just needed you to know that."

"I know," I empathized, "the connection I feel with you, despite all this bullshit, it won't go away, I'm not sure if it ever will," I ended quietly.

"I'm not sure if it will for me either," he murmured back

An uncomfortable silence settled on the phone, as I tried to think of something to say.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you in my class," he spoke, and this made me angry, hadn't we already discussed this?

"You know I need to leave, this can't continue if I'm in your class"

"I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped, but I know Bella, god do I know, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this, I just... just keep thinking about that last kiss," he lowered his voice, "I just want more, but I know I can't have more, I just wish I wasn't your teacher, I wish you weren't in school," his voice had started to rise, "I wish I wasn't as fucked up, that I could be more for you, I wish you were here comforting me, that I didn't have a cold empty bed, but I hope that this won't be forever, I hope that one day we can be together," his voice softened so that I almost couldn't hear him, "I hope that someday you will love me as much as I love you."

I was shocked, I almost wanted to pretend that I didn't hear him say it, except I did, and it made my heart soar, it made my stomach fill with a million butterflies, and it made my smile so wide it hurt.

"Bella Swan, I think I'm falling in love with you"

We had been through so much, and still after all of it, he thinks he's falling in love with me. I don't know what to say, do I say it back? What if I don't know? I think about everything that has happened. I think to the distance between my friends, the after school meetings, the feeling of betrayal of heartbreak, and I realise what I have been denying myself this whole time. I really was falling in love with Edward Cullen.

"Edward Cullen, I think I'm falling in love with you too"

I heard a sigh through the receiver. It seems as if he had been holding his breath waiting for my answer.

I could hear the smile the light inflection and the happiness radiate through his voice.

"I wish I could kiss you"

And just like that everything came crashing down. We shouldn't be feeling this way, he could get into so much trouble if anyone finds out about this. His words reminded me that while we might feel this way everything was against us, that it was wrong and should never have happened. It broke my heart that while we could declare all we wanted, we could never do anything about it. I had to get off the phone before I broke down. I had achieved what I wanted to, I had comforted and made Edward happy.

"Edward I have to go, I think Charlie is coming," I know my voice sounded off, but I hoped Edward thought it was fear and not the desolation that was threatening to rip my heart out.

"Ok beautiful I'll see you tomorrow," he said warily, sensing my change of tone, my heart clenched at his term of endearment.

"Good night Edward."

Once I heard the dial tone I set the phone on my bedside table and tried to not cry, I hoped that we'd get through this somehow, but in that moment I just needed to let it all out. I realised what I had inadvertently said, I was falling in love with my teacher.

**Like? Dislike? What are your thoughts?**

**Next Chapter EPOV**


	8. Euphoria and Honesty

AN: hello there everyone, yes I'm back from the dead, it's amazing but true. So I actually had this chapter done about a week before, but not only did my internet modem decide to fail, but my computer completely crashed, so I have been running around trying to get everything fixed on top of uni, and then because its Easter holidays we decided to go away to a place without internet. I even tried sending it through McDonald's and their free wifi, but alas Maccas does not like fanfiction :( Yup that's how much I love you guys. So this chapter is sort of filler-like, but important in the long run, there is a little bit of kinky citrus in here, to make up for that. This is completely in EPOV, I'm thinking of keeping it to one perspective each chapter; tell me what you think, Hope you like xx

**WARNING: this chapter contains some BDSM-like scenes**

Chapter Eight: Euphoria and Honesty

EPOV

I woke the next morning rejuvenated. I was happy, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't immediately feel the weight of the world against me. Yesterday had been dramatic, a rollercoaster of emotions, but I came out at the end literally glowing. I had told her I was falling in love with her, and she reciprocated. I mean, at first I felt like banging my head against the wall, I was so nervous it just sort of slipped out, but I needed to say it, I needed us both to acknowledge that these feelings were mutual. When I was around her I just felt like I didn't need to be a certain way, I just felt a sense of ease around her. It was her that impassioned me, and her that calmed me down. Sort of ironic some might say.

I didn't actually mean to call her so soon, but looking down at the back of my hands seeing the numbers, I couldn't not call her. It was disturbing to think I was turning into those clingy emotional types, or what Emmett likes to call 'em. A pussy. But I couldn't help it, I know it sounds corny and crap, but she makes me a better person, and I wanted to be a better person, I want to be happy.

I had gotten home to my little apartment, after almost backtracking back to her house twice, yes I realise it is sad and desperate, but I promise I wasn't actually going to bang on the door and demand she let me in, I was just going to park outside her house, just to feel close to her.

_Yeah, coz that's not creepy at all…_

Luckily my brain was useful enough in these situations and told me that I would see her tomorrow. As soon as I got home however, those numbers kept haunting me. Sure I had punched the numbers into my cell as soon as she had turned her back, but I could still _see_ it there on my hand, burning like a beacon, and I knew I just had to call her. Even though it was extremely late, even though she was probably asleep, even if she didn't actually answer the phone, I just needed to hear her voice, even her voicemail would be enough to calm and settle me. So I rang, and she answered, and never in my wildest dreams did I think what happened last night would ever occur, would ever be true for me. I knew that now we had declared ourselves, I must tread carefully, I couldn't and wouldn't let my life repeat itself like Tanya, or Elizabeth, I just couldn't do that to my Bella. I just wanted to both of us to be happy.

_Well you won't be a happy person if you don't get your lazy ass out of bed._

It was true, I had been lying in bed both hands supporting my head, staring at the ceiling basking in a sense of contentment, with the ever looming cloud of doubt, but of course my brain was making sense today, and I knew I had to get up if I wanted to at least glimpse Bella today.

I don't know why, but I dressed to impress, and I all round felt better. I looked at myself in the mirror before I left and concluded that I looked damn good, as opposed to the mess I had become for the last couple of weeks; my hair, while its usual messy look, looked somehow more lively and bright, but not out of control. Looking in the mirror, I understood what Emmett meant when he referred to my hair sometimes as "sex hair". I wore a light green shirt, with the first couple of buttons undone, and a pair of black slacks, both of which I had taken the time to tediously iron. I'll repeat, I looked damn good, I only hope Bella notices and can't keep her hands off me, ok ok, maybe not just yet, but a guy can hope right?

I got to school and I was opening doors for the elderly administration ladies, smiling at both students and teachers alike, even Emmett stopped me on my way to class and asked if I had gotten laid, which I laughed and shrugged off.

On a more serious note, Emmett told me that Bella would be entering his class, and that she was transferring out, and that she had made a specific point to make this possible. I was a little hurt at first, but I knew that this was the way it had to be. She had given me her number on the condition that I not teach her, god it sounded so fucked up, and the fact that it made me so happy was even more fucked, but I guess I was just bound to be fucked, I just hoped that this would help me achieve the closure I needed.

I walked down the hall to approach my first class, and I passed Bella. She seemed slightly out of it, a little sad and a little confused, I as tried to approach her, her eyes flashed to mine as a warning. I was going to stop and greet her and say hi, see if she was alright, but she smiled and gave a slight shake of her head mouthing 'later.' I understood, even though I really wanted to stop her and scoop her into my arms and thank god that I had found her, even if we were just "friends," I seriously think nothing can bring me down today. However, before she walked off, she did give me the up-down if you know what I mean, and started biting her lip, rousing my cock from its sad position. I needed to get away before people started noticing my hard on, in the hallway full of students.

I walked into my classroom, thankful that I had first period off, to mark papers and just bask in the joys of love and happiness, something that hadn't happened in almost 3 years.

I opened the draw to my desk to pull out the papers that needed to be graded, and my eyes lingered on my favourite tie that was lying underneath the papers. Suddenly flashes of a certain memory involving that tie and Bella, invaded my senses and I couldn't help but feel extremely aroused. My dick was now fully awake and straining against the zipper of my pants, I let out a long breath debating whether to take care of this, seeing as I had time, or to stop daydreaming of Bella and burn the tie and not look at her for another five months.

Obviously I chose the former. I quickly hurried to the door to my office, locking the door and pulling the blinds over the windows. I leaned back in my chair, getting myself comfortable and prepped, unzipping my jeans and allowing the movement of removing my boxers to graze the top of my dick, letting out a low harsh breath. God how I needed this, I wouldn't be able to survive any longer without relieving the tension.

I remembered that time clearly, only this time: I was in control.

_Bella was kneeling on my bedroom floor completely naked. Her head was hung low, and her hair was fanned around her frame, just touching the tips of her hardened rosy nipples at the front. I walked into the room with a confident stance, demanding her attention. I stood before her and called her name softly, she looked up, her doe eyes piercing mine, pleading to be able to serve me, and only me. I told her to take off my pants and boxers. She rose up to her knees and unbuckled the belt, and undid the button. She slowly pulls the zipper down tooth by tooth, only to lightly stroke my dick through the barrier of my boxers. Soon that is off as well, and I ask her if she wants me to fuck her mouth, and I almost come undone, when she replies, "What ever would please my Master." I tell her to open her mouth, and she opens wide, while pumping down my shaft to grasp at the base, before I thrust into her warm wet mouth._

I grasped at my dick, spreading the precum leaking from the tip all over myself, oh god it felt so fucking good.

"_Fuck Bella, suck my dick, feel it in your mouth, I know how much you love it when I fuck your mouth, I can feel you moaning around me as I pound into you, I know you love it." I screamed out, as I neared my climax, and her moaning around my dick didn't help matters none, but I didn't want to come in her mouth, I wanted to come in my pussy, so I decided I would reward her for getting me this far, as well as calming down, so I didn't come as soon as I entered her pussy. _

_I pulled her mouth from my dick, harshly telling her to bend over the end of my bed. I followed her, whispering into her ear from behind,_

"_You must remain silent Bella, you must not make a sound unless I say you can, do you understand? You may speak,"_

"_Yes, Master"_

_I dropped to the ground behind her, letting my fingers run along her slit, god she was fucking soaked._

"_You're so wet Bella, you loved every minute of that, and now I'm going to suck you dry,"_

_without further ado, my mouth joined my fingers teasingly along her slit, my tongue circled the outskirts of her clit, while my fingers teased her tight pink hole. I could almost feel her whimpering with frustration, and need she was shaking so badly. Suddenly, I sucked in her clit, nibbling ever so slightly, and my fingers plunged into her hole, pumping relentlessly. Within a few pumps I had her tightening around my fingers as her climax overtook her. In one hoarse groan she yelled my name, breaking the code of silence. She almost slumped forward on the bed, if not for the harsh slap I laid on her pussy. That made her whimper aloud again._

"_Did I tell you, you could say my name Bella? Answer me"_

"_N-No Master"_

"_Well then I think you deserve a little punishment, count them"_

_I aimed to spank her 5 times to remember her place, and arouse her even further, I wasn't going to spank her hard._

_Slap on her pussy_

"_Uhh," she groaned_

"_Count" I demanded_

"_O-one," she whimpered_

_Slap on her ass _

"_Two," she cried out in pleasure_

_Slap again_

"_Uhh… Three"_

_Slap again_

"_Four, please Edward" _

_At these words, my dick jumped, I couldn't wait to feel her inside of me._

_Slap on her pussy_

"_Five, oh god"_

_Fuck my dick was at attention again, and she could feel it behind her, as I allowed him to settle in her ass._

"_Did you deserve that Bella?"_

"_Yes Master, I was a bad girl, punish me more," she pleaded while smiling and winking at me._

_I pushed her back down, to get her into position again. My hand leaned down to touch her slit once more, and she was absolutely drenched, god I couldn't hold off I had to have her now._

"_Are you ready for me Bella?"_

"_Yes, Master, only to please you"_

_I thrust into her, moaning out loud at the feeling of being engulfed by her pussy. I slowly started pounding into her, asking her what she needed from me,_

"_Harder, Faster, Deeper, oh please Edward"_

_I started going faster, and she couldn't stop moaning, and I felt myself nearing the edge, and I leaned forward cupping her breasts in my hands, tweaking at her swollen nipples, because whispering seductively in her ear,_

"_God you feel so good Bella, come for me, please baby, I need to feel you come around my cock."_

_I felt her pussy tighten impossibly around me, and I fell off the ledge, screaming out her name along with a string of profanities illustrating the intensity of the orgasm. _

At this last thought, it became too much, and like my fantasy, I fell off that ledge, as pleasure coursed through my veins right to the tips of my fingers, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I groaned out Bella's name hoarsely, struggling to keep myself quiet.

I lay back enjoying the bliss of my orgasm as my breathing returned back to normal, and I realised rather belated that I had to clean myself up.

I picked up the box of tissues cleaning myself up. I couldn't help but imagine Bella's mouth cleaning me up instead and I almost went into round two.

The shrill ring of my phone interrupted my fantasy, fuck I had to get this out of my head for the time being. I quickly zipped myself back up and placed the tissues in the bin next to my desk.

"Hello?"

"Edward? Honey I haven't heard from you in ages, why haven't you called me, I was starting to worry."

"I'm sorry Esme I've just been busy, don't you worry about me." I disregarded her happily

Even Esme couldn't spoil my good mood, and she obviously noticed it in my voice

"Edward you seem happy today, how are you going? Have you met anyone special?"

I shouldn't tell her, it would be bad if I did, but the excitement to tell someone who would actually be happy, was too much for me, plus my post coital haze made everything a good idea.

"Esme, I-I've, err... yes I've met someone," I replied bashfully, yet enthusiastically.

"Edward that is fantastic, who is she when do I get to meet her? Tell me all about her," the excitement and overwhelming sense of pride in Esme's voice almost made the painful ache in my gut seem trivial, but I knew that Esme would not be able to meet Bella for at least another 5-6 months, and she might be horrified at the turn of events, but I still wanted to tell her, I wanted someone to share the happy news with.

"She's beautiful, she's funny and she's smart and caring and kind," my voice rose with gusto, " and her hair smells like strawberries, and she wants to be an English teacher like me, and she understands me and makes me happy, and," I paused and quietly admitted to Esme, "I think I might be in love with her."

Esme was silent. Silent for almost too long, before she squealed and giggled like a teenage girl saying hello to her first crush.

"Oh Edward honey, I'm so happy for you, I'd love to meet her, you should bring her over one day soon so we can meet her, god knows how long its been since I've had anyone other than Carlisle and myself"

How to explain this…_ she's actually my student, so it might be against regulations to openly admit that I'm having a relationship with a student. Oh and don't let me forget, this isn't really a relationship, just my wishful thinking, that this might turn into a relationship, because who ever said you'd date the person you were falling in love with? _I should stop thinking like this, I was just…happy that we still had a form of contact, I mean I was technically allowed to have a student's number for emergency purposes, but I'm pretty sure what we were doing wasn't of any urgency…_at least not to anything above the waist_

"err…Esme, well its very new, I think it's a little early for that," I quietly said uncomfortably. I think she understood that it wouldn't be for a little while before she would meet the "mystery girl" much to my relief, although the growing tension from the silence on the phone was something left to be desired. I think Esme must have realised I was getting uncomfortable, so she decided it was time to end our compulsory weekly chats, that always seemed to end with her insisting I come visit.

"Well it was nice talking to you Edward honey, but I'm sure you've got teenagers to teach, why don't you-"

"No Esme, I'm not coming to the house this weekend,"

And just like that the room turned cold and harsh, or was it just me?

I heard Esme sigh on the other end, "Alright Edward, it was nice talking to you."

I hung up quickly, not bothering to reply and leaned back in my chair and sighed.

Esme meant well, but I don't think she realised how hard it was for me to see her and Carlisle in their bright warm home, looking in each other's eyes lovingly, when I know that I destroyed that part of my family, that I couldn't walk in their home, without seeing their tortured faces, and remember the deep seeded hurt and confusion I felt when my mother told me she wasn't coming back. Suddenly the loud booming that could only come from Emmett's mouth broke through my melancholic haze.

"Eddie boy how are you my man? Now I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you got a new woman you big pussy"

Oh fuck. Deer in the headlights. Stunned Mullet. Gobsmacked. All of these could describe my expression, when he said that. What do I say? I decided to be as truthful as possible; I had always sucked at lying to Emmett.

"Err…yeah, well not really, its more like, I like her, and I think she likes me?"

"We gotta to change that Eddie boy, stop being so chicken shit, man up you pussy. Anyway so who is this girl?" ah… this is where it gets tricky

"Well Emmett, I don't think you know her, she's training to be an English teacher like us, fairly short, brown hair, full lips, pale skin," _oh fuck why did I say that? Cover it up! ,_"like your classic girl next door you know what I mean? She goes to UW."

I hoped he missed my slip. I waited baited breath, praying beyond hope that he had missed all the signs, and accepted my little lie, but of course when Emmett was silent, it never meant good things for me. Ever.

I saw him finally piece it together in his head, before he shot up to look at me through his narrowed eyes,

"Long brown hair, full lips and pale skin? That sounds an awful lot like Bella, doesn't it Edward? Is it a coincidence that your dream girl you are describing bares an uncanny resemblance to a former student of yours? And Bella is applying for UW, isn't she? I remember you telling me about it."

Oh fuck.

"Emmett, we're just friends, we talk, is it a crime to talk?"

"No, but it might be a crime to fuck her and fall in love with her," he stated blatantly, before continuing, "and don't try and tell me it didn't happen, because I know it did."

"I promise you Em, nothing is happening with us, and nothing is going to happen apart from my balls turning blue until she graduates."

"And what then Edward? You follow her to college, almost like a stalker, where she is a freshman, living in the dorms, and you could be her professor? Where she is too busy to socialize and find real friends, because she is tending to you?"

I tried to cut in, but he kept on going,

"And what about Tanya or Elizabeth, have you told her the full story on either of those two? Or even Esme and Carlisle for that matter? Were you ever planning on telling her about them?"

My good mood had since evaporated and I let out a long low sigh. This was something that needed to be battled with, needed to be done if I ever wanted to move forward with Bella. I suddenly felt overwhelmed, and listened to Emmett, unsure what to do.

"Look man, you're tearing me apart here. I won't say that I support it, but I'm not going to condemn you for it either, but so you know, your secret is safe with me. I'm half hoping that this doesn't work out, but I hope to god for your sake it does, because I can see how happy she makes you. Dude, you need to tell her about Tanya and Elizabeth, you can't move forward unless that happens. You need someone to share the guilt and the weight of those worries, even as a "friendship" as you guys say, and she needs to know what she's getting herself into in the long run," he said as he rolled his eyes, "just think about it Edward."

Silence had settled on the room, and I knew I really had to think over Emmett's words. It was true she would be living on campus, like all freshmen's she would want to party and socialise like a normal teenager, while I would stay away holed up marking exam papers. Could I really allow her to sacrifice all of that for me, her teacher?

Suddenly the end of lunch bell rang, and Emmett walked toward the door, raising his hand to gesture goodbye and that he needed to go to class, and I realised this would be one of the first times without Bella in this class. At that moment, a solution became blindingly obvious, a solution that would either break me or make me.

I needed to tell her about everything. It had to be her decision.

AN: like? I hope you all did like, so next chapter will be the revealing of Tanya and Elizabeth, amongst other things and Bella has to make the decision. Let me know what you thought, or any thoughts really I love to hear from you all.


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